Guy: They might be autistic, but that doesn’t mean they don’t want to have gay sex with children.
New Britain, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Grace
Archive for April, 2020
Dads Often Regret Not Eating Their Young
Little boy looking at gorillas: You can tell that one’s the dad, because he looks angry.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/318435466/that-method-is-84-accurate.html
Overheard by: rsp
Being a Viking Means Having to Pick Your Battles
Bearded college guy: Yeah, I would have had a much better chance if my last name was, like, “Visigoth,” but I couldn’t, like, lie to her about it at that point, you know?
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Just Because Of the Short-Shorts and Rollerskates?
Curious brunette: Hey, is that casting agent friend of yours gay?
Exasperated brunette: No! That’s the guy I sleep with sometimes. Why does everyone keep asking me that?
Rosepepper Cantina
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Amy Rose
How’d You Know?!
Student: I was wondering what my grade is.
Instructor (after consulting grade book): You have 312 points out of 500.
Student: So that’s like, what, a “b?“
Instructor: Are you failing math too?
MCCKC
Independence, Missouri
Overheard by: Not failing math
Do You Need More Evidence That McDonald’s Is Hell?
Drunk guy to group of teenagers at McDonald’s: Demon? Demon? Demon? Demon…
Florianópolis
Brazil
Overheard by: Marlon
But Take This Cream, to Be on the Safe Side
Girl: Hey, Lamar!
Guy: Oh, hey!
Girl: How you been? You been sick?
Guy: Nah… healthy.
Girl: Oh… see ya!
Bowling Green State University
Bowling Green, Ohio
Overheard by: Alex
Toasting with Really Large Steins of Beer?
Lesbian to girlfriend: … That was back when I was dating this pharmacist and my sister-in-law decided to start this rumor that both of us were into this thing… [makes subtle fisting motion].
Elevator, Penrose Hospital
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Black on Black Crime’s Hidden Nuances
Fat black woman on cell: Black women are better than white women, because you can beat the shit out of them and the bruises won’t be visible!
BART train
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Gilatron
Best. Peer Advisor. Ever.
Curious friend: Doesn’t your mouth get tired?
Small Asian girl: That’s what my hands are for!
Curious friend: Don’t your arms get tired?!
Small Asian girl: That’s what my mouth is for!
Curious friend: What do you do when both get tired?
Small Asian girl: Oh, that’s when he puts it in my butt.
Hoboken, New Jersey
