Man to woman: Is it weird that we’ve watched your mother having sex?
Pensacola, Florida
Overheard by: Are you serious?!
Archive for May, 2020
I Think I’ve Heard This Country Song…
Guy to girlfriend: If I go to jail for you, you better get your tits done.
Viewmont Mall
Dickson City, Pennsylvania
There’s Never a Truce in the Trench Warfare Between the Sexes
Older lady to complete strangers: So the last guy I dated, all he wanted was sex! We were on the beach and we passed a trench, and he was like “I’ll put you in that hole!”
Escondido, California
I’m Pretty Sure Steve Urkel Had a Gas-Mask Bong
Teen girl: Mom, guess what he got me for an early Christmas present?
Mother: What, honey?
Teen girl: A gas-mask bong–like in that movie Knocked Up. And it’s purple!
Mother: Jeez, your dork-o-meter is in the red.
MARTA Train
Atlanta, Georgia
Case in Point
Student: Well, sometimes you ask questions that have answers that might not be the answer you are looking for!
Professor: Are you calling me fat?
Michigan State University, Michigan
You Ran Over My Puke!
20-something girl with beer in hand to 20-something guy behind her: I recognize you!
20-something guy: Yeah! You puked on my car!
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Sam
Stood in Front of One Urinal and Peed in Another
Disheveled hipster: His dick was so crooked that it had, like, a knuckle!
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: Mrs The Experience
The People Look Cold and Frothy.
Man in pub, to friend: Oh, they look nice! (pause) The beers, I mean, not the people.
http://www.violaraptor.co.uk/2011/06/quotebook-january-may-2011/
Overheard by: Raptor
The Wine Will Reveal Her True Self.
Father to young daughter in department store: I’m just going to get her a bottle of wine since I don’t know what a coverup is.
Falls Church, Virginia
Why Twitter Was Invented
Guy on cell walking past elephants: I’m watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Yeah, I’m watching elephants pour shit on their heads. Okay. Bye.
Busch Gardens
Tampa Bay, Florida
