Archive for November, 2020

Until She Found a Market for the Photos on the Internet

Professor: Sorry if you’ve been excited to see how you did on your essays, but I didn’t get a chance to mark them over Christmas break.
Class: [Groans.]Professor: Well, my testicles swelled to the size of grapefruit over the holiday break, so don’t think you’re the only ones disappointed. My wife wasn’t thrilled, either.

York University

Overheard by: decidingwhethertolaughornot

Is That Nice Doctor Helping You at All?

Grandmother: This salad is just wonderful.
20-ish chick: Yes, but it has raisins in it. I don’t eat raisins.
Grandmother: What? Why?
20-ish chick: I’ve always felt bad for them. They once were so full of life, and then the sun sucked their souls out and left… this.

Overheard by: sistersaywhat

Everyone’s Had at Least One Acid-Tongued Teacher

Teacher, seeing student’s PowerPoint with tie-dye background and marroon, lime-green font: I haven’t seen that many colors since Woodstock!

Glendwood High School Chatham, Illinois

Overheard by: LA