Girl #1: Did you finish your French project?
Girl #2: Yeah.
Girl #1: Did you puke on it?
Girl #2: No, not this time.
Laguna Hills, California
Archive for March, 2021
A High Holy Day for Us Retailians
Girl #1: Well, today wasn’t a total loss, I did find my outfit for tomorrow.
Girl #2: True. By the way, what’s tomorrow?
Girl #1: Uh, Thursday. You mean like the date?
Girl #2: No, I mean: what’s the occasion for the outfit?
Girl #1: Oh, right! Thursday.
Dulles Town Center
Loudoun County, Virginia
Yeah. I Guess.
Guy: Men are bastards. I’m a man.
Girl: Then what does that make you?
Guy: Huh?
Girl: You said men are bastards. So then what does that make you?
Guy, not paying attention: Wanna dance?
Norman, Oklahoma
But It’s Just a Cornish Game Hen
Professor: It must seem like I’m beating you over the head with a frozen chicken breast.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
That’s What Everyone Says. And Everyone Lies.
Woman: I’d rather do the kidnapping than be kidnapped.
Man, snorting in disbelief: Oh, puh-lease!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: MarthaQ
I’m Relatively Free of Parasites
Young buck #1: Do you want to go out to the track and race?
Young buck #2: I’m not fond of dust baths.
Monroe Community College
Rochester, New York
The Zagat Guide Says So
Guy: You never know, perhaps he’ll like it.
Girl, happily: I taste… Horrendous!
Oxford
England
Overheard by: Tim
Kinda Like Denim and Leggings
Man #1: I know this is stupid, but are buffalo extinct?
Man #2: No, they used to be.
Austin, Texas
Just Start Blowing Things and See What Comes Out
Hipster guy: I can’t tell if I’m horny or it’s just my sinus infection again…
UBC
Canadia
If You Have Further Interest, You Can Sign Up for My Pubic History Class This Spring
Professor, discussing an 18th century painting: Now, it is important to remember that at this time women did not wear panties. This is a beaver shot par excellence!
San José State University
California
