Hipster chick to friends: Speaking of pregnancy, who wants pizza?
Denver Art Museum
Colorado
Archive for May, 2021
I Mean, Priests Know about These Things, Right?
Woman: So then he said either I have to quit smoking, or I have to have a baby.
Outback Steakhouse
Leominster, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Amycakes
When You Work for the City, You Take What Fun You Can Get
India-Indian conductor: We will need to stand by in just a few minutes for some maintenance work. We’re having some problems with the brakes, and they will need to be checked… Actually, they’re really not working… At all. [Everyone exchanges looks when doors instantly close and train pulls out of station, rounding the next corner at high speed.]
Chicago El, Brown Line
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Comforting words
So What Else Ya Got?
Spoiled nine-year-old: People only love me for my stuff.
Day Care
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: amused
You’ll Notice That Your Test Booklets Come Equipped with Condoms and Lube
Teacher: Okay, so the online quiz is up. You have a week to complete it, in your own time. I suggest, even encourage, you to bring your laptops and get together with your friends and have an “online quiz party”. Last year we had students throwing “online quiz orgies” but that’s another story.
Griffith University
Australia
He’s Very Critical for a Schnauzer
Guy on cell: No way — I left my dog in the car. I don’t perform in front of animals!
http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2007/03/overdue-posting-new-blog-sweet.html
Overheard by: sara
Actually…
Psychology instructor: If you look at the castle in The Little Mermaid, you’ll see there are some phallic subliminal messages…
Student in the back row: It’s a giant penis castle!
Psychology Class, Northwestern University
Illinois
I Just Want to Be Close to Somebody Who’ll Leave Me Alone
Chick: … So then he started talking about feelings and stuff, and how we only have sex and we never talk anymore! [Friend nods.] Like, sometimes after we do it he tries to cuddle with me, and all I can think about is, ‘Damn, I really just want to sleep…’ So, do I break up with him?
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/07/22/only-if-he-tries-withholding-sex-one-more-time-to-watch-a-chick-flick/
Overheard by:
Plus, I’m Pretty
Bawling small girl in grocery store, after not getting what she asked: But, mom, I’m crying really hard!
Ingersoll Avenue
Des Moines, Iowa
That’s So 1995.
Teen girl: Dad, stop talking about Hugh Grant’s penis!
Concord, Massachusetts
