Student in English class: Does anyone know the difference between romantic poems with a capital R and lowercase r?
Reston, Virginia
Archive for October, 2021
It Gave Me Extra Flotation, Like a Pool Noodle
Girl #1: So I was wearing a tampon to go swimming yesterday.
Girl #2: Didn’t that hurt your fluffy bits?
Memphis, Tennessee
You Are the Weakest Link. Goodbye.
Professor: So when we think of, say, plastic doll production, what country would you think of?
Class, in unison: China.
Single student, in unison with class: Switzerland.
Professor: Ehmmm…
University of Toronto
Canadia
But Perhaps I’m Mis-Remembering Sesame Street
Guy, singing: He’ll only be your friend if he touches your breast…
Girl: What?!
Guy, not singing anymore: It’s like my favorite song.
Metro State
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Squid
If Only the UN Were This Tolerant
Guy #1: … And he’d just sit in the back at these meetings listening, and every now and then he’d say something really intelligent — really eloquent, you know? And we’d all be like, ‘Wow, that was amazing,’ and then we’d notice his testicles were out.
Guy #2: Damn, I miss that guy.
Sub Connection, Ithaca College
New York
Overheard by: BLT on a garlic wrap
From the Trailer for Revenge of the Dairy Fairy
Punk walking down dairy aisle: Dude, don’t say that here…
Friend: What? Am I gonna offend the cheese?
Safeway
Winnipeg
Canadia
Overheard by: Roosebeck
Good Luck Filling My Cup, Sir
Male customer: Since you’re new, I will order slowly. (proceeds to do so)
Cute female barista, after writing down: Okay, that wasn’t so hard!
Male customer: Oh, I’ll give you something hard… Oh, wait, did that come out wrong?
Roswell, Georgia
But for a Simple $5 a Day, You Can Help Save Just One
Professor: America has a terrible problem with nipples.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/434095649/lets-just-get-rid-of-them.html
Overheard by: tru dat?
…Well, This Has Been Fun. See You at Christmas!
Girl #1: Happy Easter! I love you!
Girl #2: Happy Easter! (pause) This is funny… We’re both atheists.
Jersey City, New Jersey
You’ve Foiled Me for the Last Time, Levi Strauss!
Very loud drunk guy, standing at a urinal while he tries to open his zipper: How the fuck do they do this?
Las Vegas, Nevada
