Drunken bar patron: Seriously, she looks like she got shot in the face with a make-up gun set on whore.
Iowa
Archive for December, 2021
And the Lake’s Still Frozen
Chick: The peeing politician doesn’t float my boat.
Michigan
Overheard by: Meister E
We Recommend Turning Your Monitor and Playing a Lot of FreeCell
Female suit to another: So…how do we do things that make it look like we’re doing things?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/339378523/have-you-ever-worked-for-the-government.html
Overheard by: corporate America, we have a problem
Or, If I Were a Lot Taller, a Golf Bag.
Guy: If I had a vagina I’d have all kinds of stuff up there. (pause) I’d use it as a shower caddy.
Hoboken, New Jersey
Overheard by: Laura
Or Wear All Black
Professor: Oh, today is Johnny Cash’s birthday… In case you need a reason to drink.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/
Overheard by:
Her Case Made It to the Supreme Court.
Woman, passing We Will Rock You theater: I mean, how can they *guarantee* to blow your mind?
Yonge Street
Toronto
Canadia
The Polaroids Scattered Around the Kitchen
Girl #1: So, how did she find out?
Girl #2: I was right in the middle of vomiting and my mom opened the door and said, ‘You’ve been binge drinking and having unprotected sex?!‘
Girl #1: … So, how did she find out?
College of Charleston
Charleston, South Carolina
Overheard by: Addison
Translation: Top That, Motherfucker!
Amherst girl to Dartmouth guy, discussing Hillel dinners at Harvard: I turned down a position at Massachusetts General Hospital because they don’t have squash courts.
Commuter Rail Train
Boston, Massachusetts
Living in Illinois Can’t Help Matters
Woman #1: Oh my god, they are closed, too!
Woman #2: What the hell?!
Woman #1: We are in a sushi crisis!
Woodfield Mall
Schaumburg, Illinois
You’ll Pay, Like All the Others, When My Time Machine Is Complete
Five-year-old son: I am going to see the Reds yesterday with Mom.
Father: You mean tomorrow?
Five-year-old son: No, yesterday.
Father, puzzled: I think you mean tomorrow, buddy.
Five-year-old son, frustrated: Ugh! You’re a pea-brain, Dad!
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: teachinghimthewrongthings
