Grandmother to little boy: Elvis! Come here, we’re going. (to store person) His mother was a big Elvis fan, so now he’s a little Elvis.
Little boy: I have hair on my back!
Brisbane
Australia
Archive for March, 2022
In Spain They Speak Spainish
Mom doing magazine quiz to teenage sons: Spanish can’t be one of the world’s top languages. The only Spanish-speaking country is Mexico.
Cincinnati, Ohio
You Have Her Eyes, Patrick
Drunk guy #1: I don’t know, I bet she was a nice-looking Irish lass back in her day.
Drunk guy #2: You keep calling my grandma a piece of ass like it’s a compliment.
Bar
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: Mike K.
But They Have Frosting!
Kid: Dad, can we get Pop-Tarts?
Ponytail dad: No.
Kid: Why?
Ponytail dad: Because they’re… disgustingly poisonous!
Carrollton, Georgia
Overheard by: Kez
But Isn’t an All-Male Choir Kinda Gay?
Weird Asian guy: You’ve never heard about the clitoral frequency?! It’s a certain frequency that only men can hit, and if they hit it then all the women in the area will simultaneously orgasm.
Weird white guy: I’ve heard about the clitoral frequency! If you get an all-male choir to all sing as low as they can go, then they hit it.
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: deb
A Practice Prohibited by a Scalia Decision
3L law student: He’s just irritating. He’s like one of those people who masturbates to Scalia decisions.
http://overheardinlawschool.blogspot.com/2007/03/im-kennedy-man-myself.html
Just Another Part of the Fifties That Sucked
Eight-year-old looking at costume display: Who’s Kukla, Mommy?
Mom, solemnly: Nobody knows, honey.
Fantasy Costumes
Chicago, Illinois
Competition for Upper Class Twit Of the Year Heats Up
Skinny ginger guy: Oh, don’t over-egg the omelet!
Gorgeous girl: Uh… Omelets are mainly made of egg…?
Skinny ginger guy: Just because you wear glasses and go to university you think you’re so smart. Well you’re not. Because you’re a girl! Nerrrrrrrrr!
Nottingham
England
Overheard by: Concerned_citizen
According to Our Bible –the Josie and the Pussycats Movie
Tween girl #1: Oh my god… You look so orange in that picture!
Tween girl #2: Bitch.
Tween girl #1: No! It’s a good thing! Orange is the new pink!
Switzerland
Does Licking Count?
Girl in grocery store: Do you eat muffins?
Guy: What?
Girl: Do you eat muffins?
Guy: Is that a trick question?
Athens, Georgia
