Guy: The only thing greasier than Johnny Rockets’ hamburgers is the staff.
South Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Herbie McHebrew
Archive for April, 2022
…Was What I Loved About 2 Girls 1 Cup
Girl: It was like a porno, but with a plot!
University of Massachusetts
Overheard by: Robin
How This Relates to Organic Chemistry Will Soon Become Clear
Professor: And you go home and watch something dumb on TV, like that Tila Tequila show with the lesbians and the guys… I don’t understand who would want to date her anyway, she looks like a disease on legs.
Harbor College, California
Takes a Man Years to Forgive Himself for Saying Such Things
Too hip 20-something: But you have to also create an environment where epic things can transpire…
Walzwerk Restaurant
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: glamour-geek
We Had No Idea What They Were, Either.
Short girl: So, what do you do with the pen cap condoms?
Much taller girl: Okay, you take them…and you throw them out.
Short girl: You don’t like…reuse them or something?
Much taller girl, smiling: Do you reuse normal condoms?
(short girl laughs)
Much taller girl, seriously: Don’t just wash those and reuse them.
Onteora HS
Boiceville, New York
Overheard by: Toasted
Perilously Close to Being a Lovely Haiku.
7‑year old kid #1: It’s raining.
7‑year old kid #2: The hurricanes are upon us, bitch!
7‑year old kid #1, after long pause: It’s raining.
New Jersey
Overheard by: it was raining
Something I’d Much Rather Read About
Drunk girl: You don’t read?!
Guy: No. I think you should live life, not read about it in a book.
Drunk girl, slowly: I find that worse than being fucked up the ass.
Columbia, Missouri
Whereas the Pot Dealers Will Often Take Cookies
Professor of Physiological Psychology: … And that’s why you go down to the crackhouse with a wad of cash.
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Well, Her Kids Mend All Her Fishnets
Chick: So, how is the roommate situation?
Dude: It’s annoying that she is drunk all of the time. She keeps locking herself out or bringing home random guys.
Chick: Amazing that she still finds the time to be a preschool teacher.
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: state worker
Because I Really Need to Work on My Reverse-Cowgirl
Girl on cell: So I learned over the weekend that my parents are swingers. I know, it was so weird! It’s like, okay, so on the weekends you go out and have sex with other people… Yeah… Do we have practice today?
College of Saint Benedict
St. Joseph, Minnesota
Overheard by: Rose
