Guido to skinny guy on métro: So you weren’t really grabbing her boobs. That’s just following instructions. (pause) You were just being a team player, man.
Vendôme Métro
Montréal
Canadia
Archive for May, 2022
He Heimliched Me from Behind and Just Kept Going
Girl in car, while on cell phone: I was coughing because I was eating a cookie while trying to have sex!
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Squid
When the Producers Of Cops Join the National Geographic Channel
Professor, talking about archaeological surveying: Even in the mountains, people will be hunting, farming, running from the police.
Glasgow
Scotland
Overheard by: sarah
But He’s a Cat, Erica
Very serious, very excited young woman: He’s finally becoming a person! He got Facebook and he texts full-sized messages!
Owatonna, Minnesota
Overheard by: feels sorry for those without technology…
Queer Eye for the Rabbi Failed to Catch on
gay jew #1 — “but it will be weird explaining that I have to fly on shabbat.“
Gay jew #2: “what can you do? You have to go. They know you are not orthodox. They know you use cars and fuck your boyfriend on fridays.“
I know this was ttbf but it is a great quote! (this is not part of the quote).
Buenos Aires, Argentina
…Isn’t This Fun?
Little girl, excitedly building snowman: Mommy, look, look! This could be his hat!
Mother: No, Shelly.
Little girl, dejectedly: But mommy…
Mother, exasperated: No! It’s not even proportionate to the snowman!
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Only in Boston…
That’s Really More of a Woman’s Perspective
Girl: Do you want me to kick you in the balls?
Guy: What?
Girl: Cause then you’d be all like, “Now I can’t reproduce. What’s the point anymore?”
Weir House
Wellington
New Zealand
Just Killing Time Before the Dance Party in the Romance Languages Section
Brunette: So, are you gonna get some studying done?
Blonde: No, not really…
Brunette: So, you’re here just to kill time?
Blonde: Yeah, to play.
Baillieu Library
University of Melbourne
Australia
…According to My Biology Teacher Back in Kansas.
Chonga: What would happen if you got pregnant while you were pregnant?
Guy: That’s where twins come from.
Gateway High School
Florida
Overheard by: Pilbur
How Is a Dorm Room Like a Crime Scene, Alex?
Drunk girl: Oh! So you’re not going to go home with your girlfriend when she is asking you and her roommate isn’t even home! Oh! Oh! (boyfriend whispers something to her) I don’t care if I’m on my period or not!
University of Dayton
Dayton, Ohio
