Teacher: So, you have two teams. Let’s make a team name. Like…the red team and the green team, or the lion team and the tiger team. What’s your team name?
Ten-year-old boy: Obama team. (team members nod)
Teacher: Uh, okay. (to other team) So, are you guys the McCain team?
Ten-year-old girl: No! (whispered consultation with team members) Blue team.
English School
Gifu
Japan
Math teacher: Use the ratio test if you can expect to cancel out many many factors, like a happy schizophrenic child flailing his factor-canceling-crowbar.
Philippines
Girl: Booze!
Masculine gay dude: Fuck, yeah. I just finally finished my antibiotics. I’m gonna go fall off a stripper stage into some tits or somethin’.
Straight friend: Uhhh.
Bangkok
Thailand
Girl #1, looking at picture: Oh my gosh! Look, the first aider is totally judging her. If I was passed out from crack, I would so not wanna be judged.
Girl #2: Oh, I know, totally!
Thailand
Person #1: What’s that movie with Tom Hanks and the volleyball?
Person #2: Castaway.
Person #1: Oh, I’m so bored… You’re like the volleyball to me. I don’t necessarily like you, but you’re there and I’m alone.
Guam
Little boy, pointing to tourist: Mom! I can’t get on because the American will eat me!
Philippines
Disgruntled freshman girl #1: Ugh, I hate that guy. He is like, you know, so… Ugh!
Disgruntled freshman girl #2: I know, right?
Rude sophomore guy, interrupting: Oh, me and him? We’re like porn buddies!
(awkward silence from girls)
Rude sophomore guy: What? That was like, before.
Cainta
Rizal
Philippines
Overheard by: happened to be eating lunch
Middle aged tourist with shopping bags moving towards a small puppy: Well, my oh my, aren’t you the sweetest looking thing in the world!
Puppy: (barks)
Middle aged tourist: Oh, go fuck yourself!
Bangkok
Thailand
Overheard by: Adair
Woman: Definitely. I had both feet in the door, but now it’s just one foot in the door.
Man: I hate doors.
Bangkok
Thailand
Overheard by: Adair
Ditzy cute girl: Look at the clouds! They’re blue!
Friend, deadpan: You mean the sky.
Ditzy cute girl: Yeah! Ohmigod, kittensssss!
Jakarta
Indonesia
Overheard by: I only want my coffee
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
