Archive for the ‘Baristas’ Category

… Actually, Can I Just Get a Hot Chocolate?

Customer: I’d like some tea… Organic mint, please.
Barista: Okay, we have organic lemon and organic Earl Grey.
Customer: Um… Actually, I wanted the organic mint.
Barista: Oh, we have that, too.
Customer: Okay, then. That’s the one I’ll have.

Design Coffee shop, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Just Me

…Learned That the Hard Way.

Girl: Oh my god, I love their deep-fried mac and cheese balls!
Boy: I got some fried mac and cheese balls for you.
Girl: Tommy, if you tried to dip your balls in a deep fryer, they would probably fall off.
Boy: No they wouldn’t.
Waiter, passing by quickly: Yes they would!

Cheesecake Factory
Kettering, Ohio

Aren’t You Wendy from Season One?

Barista #1: Yeah, Joey does a great Tim Gunn impression. You should ask him to do it for you.
Barista #2: I will. So you really like Project Runway?
Barista #1: Oh my god, yes! Like, I should totally be on that show.
Barista #2: Yeah? Do you do fashion design?
Barista #1: Well, no. But I dress myself really well. And I have really good ideas. But I can’t really sew or anything.

Fairborn, Ohio

Overheard by: Barista #3

When You Can Take the Handicapped Kid’s Scissors Away, Grasshopper…

Bimbette: … You, like, learn to flip people on the mat. My mom knows how to do that. She works with retarded kids and they, like, have come at her with scissors and tried to cut her throat before.
Barista: That doesn’t sound like a job I’d want to have.
Bimbette: No, she loves it.

Gaithersburg, Maryland

Overheard by: I just want my mocha, please

Oh, and One Of Your Mudslides, Please.

Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I’ll have the Cobb salad with no croutons, no bacon, no egg, no cheese, and no avocado, with the chicken on a separate plate.
Sheepish waitress: That just leaves lettuce, tomato, and olives. You sure that’s all you want, ma’am?
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I’m sure.
Sheepish waitress: It’d be cheaper to get a side salad and just add chicken.
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: No, I want a Cobb salad.
Sheepish waitress: It would be the same thing without all the toppings.
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: I. Want. A. Cobb. Salad!
Sheepish waitress: Yes, ma’am. What kind of dressing would you like?
Entitled middle-aged anorexic: No dressing, please.
Sheepish waitress: Yes, ma’am.

TGI Friday’s