Professor: Suppose a woman goes in for a haircut. No, that’s not right! What are they called if they’re for women? Blow-something. Blowjobs?
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/11/01/a‑guy-walks-in-and-asks-for-just-a-little-off-the-top/
Overheard by: econ 208
Fat guy: So, I was getting head when all of a sudden I got this case of explosive diarrhea! I shitted everywhere, dude!
University of Hartford
West Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Joa
Professor: People break laws all the time, like stop signs and oral sex.
http://www.overheardatumbc.com
Crazy bag lady, loudly: I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy! I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(sits down next to another passenger on the subway)
Crazy bag lady, now in passenger’s face: I don’t suck dick for pussy!
(female passenger gets up and moves)
Crazy bag lady: Why you jumping? Why you jumping, bitch!? You weren’t jumpin’ last night when that guy put his long ass dick in you last night!
Female passenger: Excuse me, ma’am, don’t say that to me! You don’t know me!
(subway train stops)
Conductor: City Hall station!
Female passenger: Excuse me, sir, there’s a crazy lady on the subway harassing the other passengers.
Conductor: Oh, could you point her out to me?
(female passenger points to crazy woman yelling)
Conductor: Ma’am, are you bothering people?
Crazy bag lady: Why you tryin’ to fuck me standing up!? Why don’t you fuck me lying down like a gentleman!
Conductor: Ma’am, I’m calling the police.
Broad Street Line Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Biology teacher: [badly draws a woman singing into a microphone, which looks suspiciously like a woman about to give head] If you take this, for example…
[class laughs]Biology teacher: [steps away from board and sees what class is laughing about] Uh…[erases drawing]… We’re just not going to draw today.
Connecticut
Guy #1: Dude, how do you blow smoke rings!
Guy #2 jokingly: It is the same as sucking dick.
Guy #1: Oh, okay! (blows smoke rings effortlessly)
Guy #2: Do you need to tell me something, man?
Hookah Bar
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Drunk chick: Look, this is going to take five seconds. I just want to say hi, suck him off, and then we can leave.
http://greenoverheard.blogspot.com/2006/02/what-happened-to-shaking-hands.html
Overheard by:
Smokin’ hot Filipina girlfriend: My friend said that I should use Photoshop and imagination to do this. I have Photoshop, but where can I get imagination? I’ve never heard of it.
White boyfriend: You’re kidding me, right?
Smokin’ hot Filipina girlfriend: What?
White boyfriend: There is no software called “imagination.” Just use your imagination. Duh!
Smokin’ hot Filipina girlfriend: You’re so not getting a blowjob tonight.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: The white boyfriend
Hipster girl to guy: I got lucky. All I had to do was make out with him. (motions to other hipster girl standing beside them) She had to suck him off!
Atlanta, Georgia
Guy: That dude’s gonna get a blowjob in 20 minutes.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
