Guy to friend: Well, some armpits smell good, too.
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Turtle
Archive for the ‘Body parts’ Category
Sigh. You Guys Are So Predictable.
Comic book artist: Is the word “stab” or “poink” best for a dog nose being inserted into someone’s butt?
Group of coworkers in unison, very serious: “Poink,” definitely.
Portland, Oregon
Not As Hairy As Her Chin, but Close
Cub Scout #1: Your dad has hairy arms.
Cub Scout #2: You know what else is hairy? His penis!
Cub Scout #1: Yeah. So is my mom’s.
Cub Scout Camp
Pennsylvania
Lindsay Lohan: “How Come My Community Service Never Involves Martini Glasses?”
Guy #1, gesturing: …in a martini glass.
Guy #2: That’s disgusting! Why did you do that?
Guy #1: Because he had a broken jaw.
Guy #2: I know, but why were you doing that? Community service?
Bus Stop
San Diego, California
It May Sound Fishy, but She’s Got All the Other Acts Schooled!
50-something woman to friend: She’s got a phenomenal voice – when she sings, it’s like she has gills instead of lungs.
http://www.violaraptor.co.uk/2007/12/quotebook-2007/
Overheard by: Raptor
Anyone Wanna Teabag?
Dude, after receiving dickhead hat on 50th birthday: Hey, look! My double chin looks like a pair of balls in a nutsack!
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Tiger Fan
…to Use the Proper Measurement Units.
50-something man to another: I got a bunion you could hang a hat off of.
Durand Eastman Golf Course
Rochester, New York
Tell Anyone, And I’ll Burn You With This Acid Exfoliant
Guy #1: What is that?
Guy #2, holding sunscreen: Oh, it’s sport sunscreen. My mom made bring it.
Guy #3: Dude. Why do you have so many ointments?
Guy #2: The back of my legs get burnt.
Guy #1: You moisturize?
Canada’s Wonderland
Vaughan, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Shan
If It Could Happen to Lance Armstrong, It Could Happen to Anybody!
Girl #1: I’m all freaked out now! I bet you she’s pregnant! My sister’s pregnant!
Girl #2: I’m sure she’s not pregnant, you’re assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: monkey
In This Case, She Meant to Stun, Not Kill
Taxi cab driver: She ain’t big, but she ain’t little, you know. (pause) Broke that bottle over Anna head, but she mean well.
Sierra Vista, Arizona
Overheard by: K
