Guy #1: I can speak Italian.
Guy #2: How do you say “cheese” in Italian?
Guy #1: Ha! That’s easy, “mozzarella”!
Italian Restaurant
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Chloe
Archive for the ‘Bragging’ Category
People in L.A. Eat?
Guy: I have to use the girls’ room ’cause there is just vomit everywhere in the men’s and a guy, like, dying or something.
Girl: Well, that’s what you get for moving to the East side! Apparently no one vomits at bars on the West side. We here on the East side are all about vomit. It’s, like, totally cool.
Ladies’ room, 4100 Bar, Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Erin
Oliver Tanks Another Job Interview
Burly male student: I hope they’re okay with my nudity. I’m pretty sure I’m nude about 25 percent of the time.
University Student Center
Boston, Massachusetts
The Chicken Doesn’t Count, Sir
60-year-old journalism professor: Oh, the choking game? Heh… I play that all the time.
Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Sarah
…While You’re Working As a Mall Santa.
Husband: I’m good at finding little kids’ panties.
Wife: That’s not a quality that you should announce.
Jersey City, New Jersey
So, You’ll Notice That I’m Topless.
Chick #1, to class: Sorry I stink. I just got back from soccer practice.
Chick #2: That’s okay. My cat peed on my shirt before I left the house.
Palm Bay, Florida
But I Want to Be the Straight-shooter, If You Know What I Mean.
Male mountain biker: All we ever did was make out. And that’s not what I want in a relationship. If I wanted a hook-up buddy I’d at least get one who would suck my dick. I mean, there’s like 14 girls I could go to right now. So that’s why I broke up with her.
Female mountain biker: Yeah… She was pretty straightforward though, wasn’t she?
Crafton Hills, California
Overheard by: they didn’t even notice I was wearing hiking in slippers
…For Being So Gay.
Oversexed frat boy at house party: Yeah! We’re gonna shoot ’em with our sperm cannons!
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Katie M
… Or Saw Me?
College girl to her family: … And this is where I peed last night!
Security guard: [Applauds.]College girl: You think he heard me?
French Quarter
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Security Guard
You Keep Bringing Them Home for Me
Muscle gal: You are such a fuckin’ pussy.
Muscle guy: Fuck that, I could take a seven-foot black man.
Muscle gal: Awww, I know.
West County YMCA
St. Louis, Missouri
