Oversexed frat boy at house party: Yeah! We’re gonna shoot ’em with our sperm cannons!
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Katie M
Archive for the ‘Cum’ Category
Taco Bell, Delicious but Disgusting
Canadian woman #1: And they found DNA in it.
Canadian woman #2: What?
Canadian woman #1: Sperm.
Canadian woman #2: What?! Again?! That’s it, I’m not eating there anymore.
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: Rachel
Ask Kevin Bacon
Concerned-looking boyfriend: Yes, but it might not be kosher.
Indifferent Londoner girlfriend: I don’t think it’s an issue.
Concerned-looking boyfriend: I dunno… If I eat pork… And you suck me off… Does that mean my cum is non-kosher?
Indifferent Londoner girlfriend: Sweetie, I told you, I’m Jewish, but when it comes to jizz I just don’t care.
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Why Says Canadians Are Boring and Dry?
Girl: Don’t have sex on the couch!
Guy: Why not? You can have sex on the couch, I don’t mind.
Girl: Mhh, you wouldn’t like that. I’m a fountain.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/11/17/shes-in-justin-timberlakes-new-music-video-for-climax-me-a-river/
Overheard by: aylmer
Or Should I Just Come on It?
Man whispering into cell: But honey, I didn’t fuck her! I just came on her! … Hey, you want that Polynesian sauce they got here, right?
Chick-fil‑A, Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
That’s Just Crazy Enough to Work!
Drunk guy: Yeah, well, you could spunk on her face, then lick your jizz off her dreadlocks.
Pub
Leamington Spa
England
Overheard by: Bleep
Not If You Swallow the Sperm Like a Good Girl
Girl: I heard cum was high in protein, but it’s also high in calories.
Guy: Yes… It is also high in Vitamin D, iron, serotonin. Sadly, a woman’s body can hardly produce an equally useful food supplement.
Girl: … It produces babies!
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
I’ll Stick to My Placenta Face-Cream, Thank You Very Much
Male wedding-goer to female wedding-goer: Oh, you guys work here? Excellent! My sister’s husband, oh, I mean my brother-in-law, sells semen. Bull semen.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/367412831/you-know-in-case-youre-in-the-market.html
Overheard by: best pick-up line ever
The Technical Term Is “Cellmates”
Man #1: You can fuck any part of the body if you have a sharp object close by.
Man #2: Just shut up and give me a beer.
Man #1: Seriously. Wouldn’t it be great if you were fucking someone’s ribs, and just as you came you punctured their lung, and with their last dying breath, it shot out their nose?
Man #2: Why are we friends?
Biddeford, Maine
I Have It on My Resume, Under “Hobbies”
Woman: I orgasmed here once.
Friend, cheerfully: Oh, I’ve done that several times!
James Brown Arena
Augusta, Georgia
Overheard by: Annissa
