Customer, browsing selection of charm bracelets: Do you have any Nazi charm bracelets? My daughter loves that stuff!
Craft vendor: Uh…no.
Craft Show
San Diego, California
Archive for the ‘Customers’ Category
You Wanna Do That, the Army’s Recruiting Right Down the Block
Customer having lunch: Can I smoke at this table?
Waitress: Honey, you’re in Nevada. You can smoke, gamble, drink, screw and cuss. Just don’t kill nobody!
Bucket of Blood Saloon
Virgina City, Nevada
Overheard by: Philly Joe
From Then On, Whenever Sally Did Naughty Things, She Blamed Baby Jesus
Grocery store bagger (handing stuffed cat to little girl): So, what are you going to name your new kitty?
Little girl: Baby Jesus!
California
And Who Did Your Tits?
Customer: I’m so sorry about the mess I left in the dressing room — I just had to be sure I loved what I was buying for the big day!
Sales associate: No problem. A girl only gets married once, right?
Customer: Actually, this is my second marriage… What kind of bra are you wearing?
Dillard’s
Denton, Texas
In One Of Those Containers That’s Like a Bowl, but It Has a Handle
Customer: Do you have any tea that’s like coffee only it isn’t caffeinated like coffee… But it tastes like coffee?
Barista: Uh, you mean decaf coffee?
Customer: Yes! That’s exactly what I want. I’ll have a decaf coffee.
Red Brick Coffee Pub
Guelph
Ontario, Canadia
Like, It Takes a Village to Raise a Chomper?
Customer: Do you have any non-fiction books on vampires?
Dymocks Carousel
Perth, Western Australia
Australia
Overheard by: Richard
My Parents Are So Proud.
Customer to cashier: I love that name, “Sierra.” My parents were going to name me Sierra Dawn if I was a girl, because they really wanted their last child to finally be a girl. But I wasn’t. Now I use Sierra as my drag name.
West Hollywood, California
For the Same Reason I Like Tightly-Wrapped Christmas Presents
(a couple at the checkout counter buying nylons)
Girl: I’m really excited for these tights.
Guy (excessively excited): Me too!
Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia
Would You Mind Taking a Picture Of Us With It?
[A young woman in a wetsuit and a young man in normal clothing are standing near the packaged meats.]Female employee: Can I help you with anything?
Young woman: Oh, no thanks, we’re just admiring the bacon.
Female employee: Oh. Okay! Have a nice day!
Vons
Ventura, California
She Does Whatever the Easter Bunny Tells Her
Customer, looking at strange photograph: Wow, that baby sure does have a lot of hair!
Cashier: I told my wife not to put a wig on that baby, but she just wouldn’t listen.
Birmingham, Alabama
