Old man #1: Oh my god! You’re still alive?!
Old man #2: Well, yeah, ya old fuck!
Hoboken, New Jersey
Overheard by: Wendy GK
Archive for the ‘Death & dying’ Category
Somebody Has an Admirer
Woman on the street: In the past 24 hours someone a shoved a dead bird in the grill of my truck!
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
DeadSpace!
Friend #1: God! Old people get so pissy when they don’t get their obituaries on time.
Friend #2: Why?
Friend #1: Because they want to know which of their friends has died that week.
Friend #2: Oh, so it’s like Facebook for the elderly!
Memorial Hospital
Sudbury
Ontario, Canadia
Overheard by: Dani
The Physics Lab That Was Never to Be Repeated
Tall skinny guy: Did you know that three out of every four deaths on roller coasters are girls? It’s because they’re so small and aerodynamic.
Six Flags
Valencia, California
Pretty Much How It Works
Old lady: Wouldn’t it be nice if we could just stay as we were and then wake up one day and be dead?
Assisted living center
Iowa
It Gave Me Relationship Advice
40-something driver to friend: So I saw some interesting roadkill the other day…
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Another chupacabra?
Tonight, on Bizarre Rationalization Theatre…
Creepy guy with shriveled arm: Nah, I haven’t used in a couple months. But if I wanted to start again, I got a savings account now.
5 Bus
San Diego, California
Overheard by: mhd
Homie Also Has a Hard Time on Armed Forces Career Day
Flamboyant, very white math teacher: Alright, we have a test on Tuuuuseday, which is also, guess what, the blood drive! So don’t donate blood before the test and please, please, do not donate blood during the test. You’ll be writing with one arm and bleeding with the other, and then you’ll get paler and paler… and keel over and die. Homie can’t fly that. Homie can’t.
Math Classroom
Hawaii
Can They Still Call It Martha Stewart Living?
Girl on cell: Wait… Wait! You’re telling me she’s not a zombie? You mean she’s actually dead?
Emory College
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Zack
…Prematurely
Overweight mom, walking away from grave, to young sons: If you don’t start behaving, you are going to be buried here.
Arlington National Cemetery
Arlington, Virginia
