Guy #1: Did you see the video where that girl shoots a banana out of her ass?
Guy #2: Yeah! And then she’s like “I think there’s still a strawberry up there!”
Clemson University
Clemson, South Carolina
Overheard by: starch
Archive for the ‘Default’ Category
That’s More of an Orange County Accessory
Customer, browsing selection of charm bracelets: Do you have any Nazi charm bracelets? My daughter loves that stuff!
Craft vendor: Uh…no.
Craft Show
San Diego, California
That’s What Thongs Are Supposed to Feel Like, Billy
Five-year-old boy, loudly interrupting adults: I have a wedgie!
(adults laugh)
Five-year-old boy: This wedgie train is carrying wedgies!
Green Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Mr. Sandman, Bring Me a Dream/ Send Me a Girl Who Wants to Get Reamed
Girl: So I had a realistic dream last night.
Guy (uninterested): Uh-huh.
Girl: I had anal sex in the dream. But I’ve never had anal sex before. But it seemed realistic.
Guy (uninterested): Hmm.
Girl: So now I need to have anal sex to see if it was like in my dream.
Guy (suddenly interested): Yeah?
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
Lindsay Lohan: “How Come My Community Service Never Involves Martini Glasses?”
Guy #1, gesturing: …in a martini glass.
Guy #2: That’s disgusting! Why did you do that?
Guy #1: Because he had a broken jaw.
Guy #2: I know, but why were you doing that? Community service?
Bus Stop
San Diego, California
Hard to Imagine You Two Have Time to Read
(40-something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn’t meant to be faithful. We’re all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I’ll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.
Bookstore
Ocala, Florida
Let’s Think About It J. Logically
Oblivious lady #1: I just don’t know what to do with all of that junk back there.
Oblivious lady #2: Where, in your trunk?
Oblivious lady #1: Yeah, there’s just so much junk in my trunk!
Guelph, Ontario
You’re Certainly the Most Supportive Guidance Counselor I’ve Had So Far
Teen boy ordering sub, on cell: You like the way I say “delicious?”
Carson, California
Overheard by: I’ve heard it said worse
…Slowly Rubbing Shea Butter on My Back
Professor, about English grammar: Sorry, I lost my train of thought. I was thinking of Samuel L. Jackson.
http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/11/05/i‑can-dig-it/
Overheard by: ed216
Nobody Even Pretends to Understand U.S. Politics
Teacher: So, you have two teams. Let’s make a team name. Like…the red team and the green team, or the lion team and the tiger team. What’s your team name?
Ten-year-old boy: Obama team. (team members nod)
Teacher: Uh, okay. (to other team) So, are you guys the McCain team?
Ten-year-old girl: No! (whispered consultation with team members) Blue team.
English School
Gifu
Japan
