Archive for the ‘Default’ Category

Mr. Sandman, Bring Me a Dream/ Send Me a Girl Who Wants to Get Reamed

Girl: So I had a realistic dream last night.
Guy (uninterested): Uh-huh.
Girl: I had anal sex in the dream. But I’ve never had anal sex before. But it seemed realistic.
Guy (uninterested): Hmm.
Girl: So now I need to have anal sex to see if it was like in my dream.
Guy (suddenly interested): Yeah?

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: Sarah

Hard to Imagine You Two Have Time to Read

(40-something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn’t meant to be faithful. We’re all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I’ll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.

Bookstore
Ocala, Florida

Nobody Even Pretends to Understand U.S. Politics

Teacher: So, you have two teams. Let’s make a team name. Like…the red team and the green team, or the lion team and the tiger team. What’s your team name?
Ten-year-old boy: Obama team. (team members nod)
Teacher: Uh, okay. (to other team) So, are you guys the McCain team?
Ten-year-old girl: No! (whispered consultation with team members) Blue team.

English School
Gifu
Japan