Girl #1: I was sooo drunk. I woke up and there was shit all over the rug.
Girl #2: That’s not good.
Girl #1: Yeah, I’m like disgusted with myself.
University of Delaware
Archive for the ‘Delaware’ Category
Poof! Like an Astronaut Landing on Moondust.
Guy to pals: Did you ever put baby powder on your butt and then fart?
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: how are these people my friends?
…What’s Your Thesis Advisor Like?
Guy, walking angrily: She thinks that vampires evolved, so now they can be out in the sun like normal people. She also thinks it’s degrading to have sex in any position other than missionary, when she’s sober.
University of Delaware
Overheard by: what???
A Candy-Ass?
Professor with Smarties taped to pants: Anyone wanna take a guess at what my costume is?
Girl in back: Firefighter!
University of Delaware
Delaware
For the Last Time, That Was CPR
Bimbette #1: We need to find men to buy us drinks tonight — I only have, like, 10 bucks.
Bimbette #2: Why don’t you make out with Mom again? That worked last time.
Rehoboth Beach, Delaware
Everyone Feels Like This When They See Tom Cruise
Girl #1: Shit!
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: I forgot to ask him if he’s gay!
Girl #2: But you don’t even know him!
Girl #1: I know, and now I’ve lost my chance…I’ll wonder for the rest of my life if he was gay or not. And maybe one day, when I’m old and gray, I’ll see him, at a bus-stop maybe, and then I’ll try to ask him…and he’ll be already on the bus, and I’ll never know.
Girl #2: You’re kind of a freak.
University of Delaware
Unfortunately, He Caught Me at My Crustiest
Girl on cell: So I said, ‘If I knew you were going to be videotaping it, I would have showered.’
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
I Think It Was the Makeup Sex
Grad student: How did you crack your rib? That’s awful.
Administrative assistant: My husband.
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Lisa
If You Double-Clutch Me, I’ll Bite It Off
Girl on cell: Yes, that’s exactly how I want to die! You driving us drunk down the highway at a hundred miles per hour while I give you head and you use one hand to play with my tits and the other to shift gears!
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Anne
Andie McDowell’s Character in Four Weddings and a Funeral Was Kind Of a Bitch
Girl #1: After he proposed, I thought to myself, “why couldn’t he have done this a few days before, so I could show off my ring at the funeral?“
Girl #2: I know, that’s such a shame!
University of Delaware
Overheard by: It wasn’t even THAT pretty of a ring!
