Girl #1: After he proposed, I thought to myself, “why couldn't he have done this a few days before, so I could show off my ring at the funeral?”
Girl #2: I know, that's such a shame!
University of Delaware
Overheard by: It wasn't even THAT pretty of a ring!
Guy on cell: Have you ever heard “Dreidel, dreidel ” played on guitar? It's fucking awesome!
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Guy #1: I've been talking to this chick lately. It's kinda awkward, her last boyfriend killed himself, she found him dangling on the noose. What do I say to that?
Guy #2: Tell her you're well-hung.
Delaware
Overheard by: Dave
Professor: How does a microwave work?
Student: Electromagnetic waves.
Professor: Oh, “electromagnetic waves”! That's a fancy way of saying “magic.”
University of Delaware
Overheard by: Magician
Guy: Look! A squirrel!
Girl: Awww! It’s cute.
Guy: It’s a girl squirrel.
Girl: How do you know?
Guy: It has squirrel tits. [Girl hits him over the head.]
Newark, Delaware
Girl, pulling up in her SUV: Hey, Marcus.
Guy #1: Hey.
Girl: How ya doin'?
Guy #1: Good, good.
(girl drives away)
Guy #2: Why'd she call you Marcus?
Guy #1: I don't know that bitch.
Newark, Delaware
Anthropology teacher: That's just like saying the point of sex is to have an orgasm. If that were the case you could do it yourself! There's no need to involve another person!
University of Delaware
Overheard by: Terrance Williams
Guy on cell: Yeah, well, that sucks that you don't have any friends, but now at least it's legal for you to drink your troubles away!
University of Delaware
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: Anne
Mom: We’re going to have surf ‘n’ turf for dinner tonight.
Daughter: What’s the surf?
Mom: Steak.
Delaware
