Drunks

Drunk girl in bar during Rose Bowl: It's official–I'm going to be ovulating on my wedding day.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Double V

Paralytically drunk trainee Russian orthodox priest, lying on pool table, smoking a joint: Fuck! I've got to get to church in two hours…

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Drunk girl: I want to be lesbionic!

Georgia Tech

Overheard by: YellowJacketGals

Drunk girl looking at digital camera: Sometimes I'm having such a good time I look Chinese.

Saint Joseph's University
Philadelphia, PA

Drunk guy to girlfriend: I care about you a lot. It sucks.

Park Tavern
Jersey City, New Jersey

Drunk girl #1, in bathroom: So I told her she just needed to remove her vagina, put on a cock and man up!
Drunk girl #2: Totally.

Bathroom, Rocket Bar
Washington, DC

Drunk guy: If kiddie porn is such a huge problem on the internet, how come you can't ever find it?

St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Why Don't You Have A Seat Over Here…

Drunk gay guy in pub garden, at top of voice: So I got hepatitis c when I was fisting this guy… There was blood everywhere.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

DJ: And we'll be giving away a free DVD of diary of a mad black woman!
Drunk shirtless redneck, sincerely: Wooooooo! That's my movie! That's my movie!

Screen on the Green, Centennial Park
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Becca

Fat drunk guy: Dude, I would totally kick a couple of chicks in the cunt!

Barley’s
Knoxville, Tennessee