Etiquette

Old teacher, about middle school student: Johnny’s fine until he has an audience. Then he gets all gang-bangy and tries to screw Mrs. Smith.
Young teacher: Please don’t ever say that again.

Restaurant
Redlands, California

Woman: So, we didn't check the restaurants to see if they had a dress code, so we couldn't eat anywhere because you had to wear pants.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/314138677/that-is-just-too-inconvenient-for-how-i-live-my-life.html

Overheard by: sxoidmal

Dad walking towards hotel lounge: Where are your hands?
Young daughter: Somewhere they shouldn't be!
Dad: That's right! Somewhere they shouldn't be!

Austria

Male customer: Since you're new, I will order slowly. (proceeds to do so)
Cute female barista, after writing down: Okay, that wasn't so hard!
Male customer: Oh, I'll give you something hard… Oh, wait, did that come out wrong?

Roswell, Georgia

Professor: I could go to Mark*, for example, and say, “hey, you have to do this or I'm going to shoot you.” (to Mark*) Uh, sorry.
Mark*: Well, at least you're polite about it.

Emerson College
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: S.m. Torres

Mother, exiting trolley, to her son: Okay, come on, there’s people behind us.
Son: I want to say goodbye!
Mother: Oh, god.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Guy talking too loudly on cell phone: Honestly, if you took a dump and smeared it all over my chest, you know, in my face and all that, I?d be fine. Actually I might not, thats pretty extreme, but you know…

http://www.overheardatumbc.com

(in the Georgetown Banana Republic)
Girl #1: I really love this dress, but I think it's a tad too short for work. I'm only supposed to be buying dresses for work right now.
Girl #2: Really? It's not too short for my office. But my boss only hires pretty people, so he likes it when we wear short dresses.
Girl #1: Did you think I'm ugly?
Girl #2: No! Buy the dress and send me your resume.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/08/who-wears-short-shorts.html

Overheard by: Ian

Girl on bus: So, I’m like: “Bitch, you can’t question my big fork usage!”

99 Bus
Vancouver
Canadia

(group bows heads and man begins to pray)
Girl (just realizing prayer has started): Oh! Holy shit! We're praying?!

Shawnee Mission Park
Shawnee, Kansas