Overheard Everywhere 2019-04-25T14:59:22Z https://overheardeverywhere.com/feed/atom https://overheardeverywhere.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/cropped-everywhere-favicon-32x32.png admin <![CDATA[Using Implements No Man Can Match]]> 2019-04-25T14:59:22Z 2019-04-25T14:59:22Z Hot chick #1: I just cannot get off during sex.
Hot chick #2: That’s because you masturbate too much.
Hot chick #1: Oh.

Lebanese Taverna
Washington, DC

admin <![CDATA[See the Truth in the Morning and Die Happy That Night]]> 2019-04-25T02:01:09Z 2019-04-25T02:01:09Z Old man in hospital bed, to family: I've said it once, and I'll say it again. Tigers are the sharks of the land!

Poughkeepsie, New York

admin <![CDATA[You Never Did That When We Were Together, Either]]> 2019-04-24T13:18:47Z 2019-04-24T13:18:47Z Young guy on cell: You got a bikini wax?… Really?… How come you never did that when we were together?… Oh, so you’re a woman now?

Edmonton, Alberta

admin <![CDATA[Some of the Time You’re My Favorite Fuck]]> 2019-04-24T00:36:42Z 2019-04-24T00:36:42Z Drunk girl: ‘Fuck’ is my favorite word!
Sober boyfriend, laughing: ‘Fuck’ is not your favorite word. ‘Fuck’ is your favorite word some of the time.
Drunk girl: ‘Some of the time’ is my favorite word! [Falls over.]

Dorm room
Lexington, Kentucky

Overheard by: My Favorite Word Too

admin <![CDATA[Chad and Jeremy Break Up]]> 2019-04-23T12:22:31Z 2019-04-23T12:22:31Z Gay guy #1, walking down the street: Oh, this place is cute. Your parents should stay here when they visit.
Gay guy #2: That's a funeral home.

Market Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ray

admin <![CDATA[I Have Standards — I Just Don’t Know What They Are]]> 2019-04-23T00:00:47Z 2019-04-23T00:00:47Z Blonde to friend: You know that guy I was going out with? He told me he was going out with me because he liked blondes, and I thought, ‘I’m not a blonde,’ but then I remembered I was… But that’s not a good enough reason to go out with me.

National Art Gallery

Overheard by: Dr Hackenbush

admin <![CDATA[Let's Start with One Tier]]> 2019-04-22T11:40:46Z 2019-04-22T11:40:46Z Girl: I want to bake you a cake!
Boy: I don't do commitment.


admin <![CDATA[Dude, You’re Preaching to the Choir]]> 2019-04-21T23:01:29Z 2019-04-21T23:01:29Z Student: She thinks she’s so good. She was probably the only soprano in her high school, so she was automatically the best. Or maybe she went to a school for like, people with severe burns. She was the best in the burn victim ward.

Westminster Choir College
Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Gaby Young

admin <![CDATA[Or Use Birth Control]]> 2019-04-21T10:46:38Z 2019-04-21T10:46:38Z Woman to friend: So I killed three of them already. I guess that means I should lose some weight.

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: corey

admin <![CDATA[But I Want to Be the Straight-shooter, If You Know What I Mean.]]> 2019-04-20T21:58:54Z 2019-04-20T21:58:54Z Male mountain biker: All we ever did was make out. And that's not what I want in a relationship. If I wanted a hook-up buddy I'd at least get one who would suck my dick. I mean, there's like 14 girls I could go to right now. So that's why I broke up with her.
Female mountain biker: Yeah… She was pretty straightforward though, wasn't she?

Crafton Hills, California

Overheard by: they didn't even notice I was wearing hiking in slippers