Overheard Everywhere 2018-03-21T05:29:52Z https://overheardeverywhere.com/feed/atom/ WordPress https://overheardeverywhere.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/cropped-everywhere-favicon-32x32.png admin <![CDATA[…In Hopefully Unrelated News, I Have Your Grades.]]> 2018-03-21T05:29:52Z 2018-03-21T05:29:52Z Professor: If a man wrongs you, pee on his car.

Washington College
Chestertown, Maryland

admin <![CDATA[I Almost Hit on Her, Too]]> 2018-03-20T17:03:59Z 2018-03-20T17:03:59Z 50-something woman on bus: ..fishnet stockings, a skirt that barely covered *something,* and a bustier. I looked up, and it was my daughter.


Overheard by: mehitabel

admin <![CDATA[…Would You Like to Go Out With Us This Friday?]]> 2018-03-20T04:20:40Z 2018-03-20T04:20:40Z Freshman boy trying to flirt with girl: I'm from Boston and he's from Boston and he's Chinese and he likes Bruce Lee, naked, naked, naked. (pokes Chinese friend)

University Library
Binghamton, New York

Overheard by: Brianna

admin <![CDATA[We Leave It to You, Dear Reader]]> 2018-03-19T16:00:00Z 2018-03-19T16:00:00Z Plumber, rubbing his fingers together: Hmmm. No, no, it’s not water. It’s something much, much worse.

Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: TK

admin <![CDATA[Not As Emo As the Ground, But Close.]]> 2018-03-19T03:19:33Z 2018-03-19T03:19:33Z Guy: The sky is pretty emo.

Eugene, Oregon

Overheard by: nyssa

admin <![CDATA[Or at Least Stopped the Lovemaking]]> 2018-03-18T15:13:29Z 2018-03-18T15:13:29Z Guy: I mean, I was bleeding and she just seemed like she wasn't going to do anything, you know?
Girl: Yeah! I would have been like “oh my god, you are bleeding!”

Auburn University
Auburn, Alabama

Overheard by: Emily

admin <![CDATA[Shouldn't There Be an IQ Prerequisite?]]> 2018-03-18T02:54:16Z 2018-03-18T02:54:16Z Woman: So when are you guys riding?
Man #1: Three weekends from now, or maybe a month…
Woman: Isn't it too cold outside to ride motorcycles?
Man #2: Not if you're drunk!

Downingtown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Crys

admin <![CDATA[Good Point —No Effect on Religious Beliefs]]> 2018-03-17T14:39:52Z 2018-03-17T14:39:52Z Professor: Now, if we did eliminate illness and achieved immortality there might be serious religious repercussions. Can anyone think of how this might affect religious beliefs?
Bimbette: Well, like, if Hitler were immortal, he would, like, go to jail for, like, a million years and then, like, chill out for eternity, you know?

Eternal Youth and Immortality Seminar
Lafayette College, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: knows that Hitler would still be dead because he SHOT himself

admin <![CDATA[We’re Going to the Electrolysist.]]> 2018-03-17T02:13:46Z 2018-03-17T02:13:46Z Three-year-old: I have two daddies! I have two daddies!
Irritated mother, dragging child out of store: Come on.

Merced, California

Overheard by: oh. my. god.

admin <![CDATA[…Says the Woman Who Has a Crush on Those Twins in The Suite Life Of Zack & Cody?]]> 2018-03-16T13:27:30Z 2018-03-16T13:27:30Z Queer dad at the back of the line: Ohmigod! There's Rebeca, from cheerleading.
Woman friend: Oh yeah! I hate her, she's so perky.
Queer dad: And irresponsible, she always leaves her kids on the car when she goes anywhere.
Woman: Oh, really?
Queer dad: I mean, who leaves a top of the line Escalade with a smoking hot nine-year-old idling in the parking lot? Especially in this neighborhood!
Woman dad: That is so wrong!
Queer dad: I know!
Woman: No, that you said “smoking” hot nine-year-old.
Queer dad: Oh…

Dunkin Donuts
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Billy Splatts!