Overheard Everywhere 2018-12-08T20:40:27Z https://overheardeverywhere.com/feed/atom/ WordPress https://overheardeverywhere.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/cropped-everywhere-favicon-32x32.png admin <![CDATA[Sunday School Daycare?]]> 2018-12-08T20:40:27Z 2018-12-08T20:40:27Z 20-ish girl: Where do you think is the best place to get molested?
Friend: Daycare?


admin <![CDATA[That, or a Phone.]]> 2018-12-08T08:20:23Z 2018-12-08T08:20:23Z Teacher: Who knows what the word “cell” means?
4th-grader: Oh, I do, I do! It's a tiny thing like a jelly doughnut! Except instead of jelly, there's blood!

Elementary School
Washington, DC

admin <![CDATA[Drag Queens Are Treated Like Livestock in Canadia]]> 2018-12-07T19:47:24Z 2018-12-07T19:47:24Z Four-year-old boy, dancing happily down sidewalk: I'm like a princess! I'm like Cinderella!
Mother: Except you stink. So more like stinkerella.


admin <![CDATA[Haunting Image: John McCain in Assless Chaps]]> 2018-12-07T07:28:36Z 2018-12-07T07:28:36Z Intern girl #1: Bet McCain’s into S&M.
Intern girl #2: I can see that.
Intern girl #1: Ever see the veins in McCain’s head? They throb all day. I had a boyfriend like that.
Intern girl #2: Did he want to smack you around?
Intern girl #1: He wanted me to smack him around.
Intern girl #2 Did you?
Intern girl #1: Psh. I am sooo not maternal.


Overheard by:

admin <![CDATA[Would You Mind Taking a Picture Of Us With It?]]> 2018-12-06T19:07:05Z 2018-12-06T19:07:05Z [A young woman in a wetsuit and a young man in normal clothing are standing near the packaged meats.]Female employee: Can I help you with anything?
Young woman: Oh, no thanks, we’re just admiring the bacon.
Female employee: Oh. Okay! Have a nice day!

Ventura, California

admin <![CDATA[Father Martin, Why Is This Pew Wet and Sticky?]]> 2018-12-06T06:47:57Z 2018-12-06T06:47:57Z Girl: I should probably go to church tomorrow. It would make my mom happy… And the priest is really fucking hot.


Overheard by:

admin <![CDATA[In Some Cultures, That’s the Highest Compliment]]> 2018-12-05T18:36:30Z 2018-12-05T18:36:30Z Drunk girl yelling to bald guy from car window: You left your toupee in my vagina!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Paige & Liz

admin <![CDATA[But I Have Bought His Ashes on eBay]]> 2018-12-05T06:25:46Z 2018-12-05T06:25:46Z Guy in Mexican restaurant: Have you ever met the Pope?
Girl in Mexican restaurant: No. He's dead.

Groton, Connecticut

Overheard by: Newt

admin <![CDATA[Goddamn Lungfish!]]> 2018-12-04T17:52:28Z 2018-12-04T17:52:28Z Property professor: They’re only on the land about 25 days a year, and they get full possession? ‘What the fuck?!’ as they say!


Overheard by: sa

admin <![CDATA[But I Still *Adored* Gone with the Wind.]]> 2018-12-04T05:36:39Z 2018-12-04T05:36:39Z Naked dude #1: I'm really surprised by how long it is.
Naked dude #2: Yeah… It's quite long.

Locker Room
Kansas City, Missouri