Mom to five-year-old son who is standing quietly: Settle down before I have to give you another pill!
Line for a theme park ride
Florida
Overheard by: Kim
Archive for the ‘Florida’ Category
Think Of It As a Cheap Facelift!
Old woman in roller coaster line: Does this one go upside down? I don’t like it when they do upside down.
Little boy: You’ll be fine, grandma. Come on!
Universal Studios
Florida
Given Time
Queer #1: I can adjust to change, I think.
Queer #2: Yeah, but can your sphincter?
Leon High School
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: Deathly Confused
K‑Fed: Explained.
Scruffy guy: Shit, I’d suck dick for money. I’ve always kind of wished I was a girl so I could be a stripper… or a whore.
Gainesville, Florida
Plus I Feel a Little Gay Riding a Log
Intimidating black man on log flume: This ain’t no romantic cruise!
Busch Gardens, Florida
Next: a Game Of “Just the Tip”
Not-very-smooth guy to attractive woman at bar: I just want to see it! I promise I won’t touch your vagina.
Tallahassee, Florida
So, You’ll Notice That I’m Topless.
Chick #1, to class: Sorry I stink. I just got back from soccer practice.
Chick #2: That’s okay. My cat peed on my shirt before I left the house.
Palm Bay, Florida
That’s the Last Time Mommy Is Taking You to Work
Four-year-old boy, singing: I’m gonna piss in your mouth, I’m gonna piss on your head…
Mom: Sweetie, who are you talking to?
Four-year-old boy: You.
Mom: Oh, okay.
Publix grocery store
Florida
Overheard by: Amused yet appalled
Sesame Street Has Really Diversified Its Curriculum
Guy: It was mostly about fucking goats, but I also learned a lot about libel law.
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Nick
You Lithuanian Girls Know What I’m Talking About
Anthropology teacher: All women are beautiful, whether they’re tall and skinny or not. Including female Sasquatch.
USF
Florida
