They Couldn’t

Frat boy: We are Ivy League educated men — we can figure out how to turn a bed sheet into a toga.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/12/big-honking-update.html

Overheard by: maria

Is My Little Brother Getting Sober?

Frat boy to another: Dude, why do we always act like such assholes?

National Zoo
Washington, DC

Overheard by: keeeeem

Pink Is Pretty Gay, Though — Why Chance It?

Frat boy #1: What is pink eye, anyway?
Frat boy #2: I dunno.
Frat boy #1: Well, I don’t see how it can be that contagious.

Palm Walk, Arizona State University
Arizona

Overheard by: oh, trust me…

Except That Living in Italy Could Be a Good Thing

Frat guy: You ever been to the Franklin Mills Mall?
Bimbette: No! I live in King of Prussia! If I left King of Prussia to go to any other mall, it’d be like leaving Italy to eat at an Olive Garden. No!

http://overheardinphilly.blogspot.com/

Overheard by: impressed, she has a point

It’s $20 Extra to See My Periodic Table

Guy on cell: I’m drunk as fuck right now… Yeah, I went out after my chem test, and they had strippers! Got a lap dance… She was bangin’. You wanna know the best part, dude? I’m doing homework, haha!… Yeah, it’s due tomorrow.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/11/ten-days-all-at-once-huge-update.html

Overheard by: zui

I’d Still Be Motorboating Her If the EMTs Hadn’t Intervened

Drunk frat boy: I don’t care that she was three hundred pounds, she still had a phenomenal rack!

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/11/ten-days-all-at-once-huge-update.html

Overheard by: hearing aid

Unless It’s a Naughty Nurse

Stoned frat boy: I have this aversion with talking to dentists… or really anyone who wants to help me with my general health.

SUNY Geneseo
New York

Overheard by: Jeni

Leave It to the Ivy Leaguers to Really Get to the Crux of an Issue

Frat boy: That’s all I want, a girl from, like, some poor village in southern Italy, doesn’t speak a fuckin’ *word* of English, and I can bring her home, and she can lie in my bed all day, and fuck me, and make me gnocci.
Plain blonde girl: Do you really like gnocci?

Yale Berkeley College Dining Hall
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Being Able to Pee in a Cup Is the Whole Test, Right?

Bro dawg #1: Dude, I totally passed my drug test!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome! [High five.]Bro dawg #1: Yeah, I think the LSD and the coke totally canceled each other out!
Bro dawg #2: Awesome!

Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Not gonna pass his drug test

Oh, in That Case I’d Be a Cheetah

Guy #1: Man, that movie was so good last night — I was so baked.
Guy #2: Yeah, that shit is so much better when you’re high.
Guy #1, after a pause: If you were a bird, what kind of bird would you be?
Guy #2: I don’t like birds.
Guy #3: I’d be a pterodactyl, dude.

Cafeteria line, Colgate University
Hamilton, New York