Male flight attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, we have finally arrived at a gate. Please make sure you have all your personal belongings before you disembark: iPods, cell phones, BlackBerrys, small pets, sweaters, sunglasses, and since we just came from Las Vegas, wedding rings. Make sure you get those back on folks.

Oakland Airport, California

Overheard by: kat

Metro guy to friend: And in the bathroom, under the sink, we have eye clippers…

San Diego, California

Girl #1: So, yeah, I was just going to set the hoover to suck, and use that.
Girl #2: Do hoovers suck?


Professor: So, what is the meatiest calculator out there?
Student: TI-89!
Professor: So, what can the TI-89 do?
Student: Calculus!
Professor: Holy shit! Integral calculus! I didn’t know they could do that these days. Well, I’m gonna clutch my genitals and go hide in the corner!

Professor, exasperated: Don't you guys know anything about education in Sweden? Or anything about Sweden at all?
Physical education major: Yeah, that's where we get those Swiss Army knives.

Education Class
Ohio State University

Overheard by: i can't believe these people are going to be teachers…

Teen girl: What a bitch! Like seriously, why can't I buy an iPhone cover for my BlackBerry?
Friend: I bet she was being racist.


Babe: Don't look to me to be the voice of reason: I own roller skates!


Overheard by: smu

Roller girl: So you either need a lesbian or a bearing press.

Yonkers, New York

Woman: Excuse me, my phone doesn’t work. What should I do?
Salesman: What happened to your phone?
Woman: Well, my two year old son poured chocolate syrup on it, so I soaked it in the sink with dish soap to get it off.

Guy to girl: If I had an iPhone I wouldn't need a girlfriend, I would just rub that…

Valparaiso University

Overheard by: Rachel Kaiser