Chick: Well, my mom wouldn’t let me on the train until I wore pants, so there ya go.
Southmoor station
Aurora, Colorado
Chick: Well, my mom wouldn’t let me on the train until I wore pants, so there ya go.
Southmoor station
Aurora, Colorado
(40-something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn’t meant to be faithful. We’re all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I’ll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.
Bookstore
Ocala, Florida
Younger heavy metal guy with older coworkers: I never find the right size of long johns in the winter, so I buy women’s tights instead. (older coworkers look at him in shock) What? I was kidding! Morning humor, you know.
Macho guy sitting behind: Yeah, women’s tights make your junk look bigger!
Commuter Train
Stockholm
Sweden
Overheard by: strictly boxers.
[Line for ladies’ room]Girl #1: Hi, do you mind if I cut in front of you? It’s urgent.
Girl #2: Sure.
Girl #1: Thanks, I have to change my tampon.
Girl #2: [Blank stare.]Girl #1: I have to make sure I change it often. Not too often, because once I changed it too much and got chlamydia.
Girl #2: Oh…[Suppresses laugh.]
Western Australia
Australia
Girl #1: I’m all freaked out now! I bet you she’s pregnant! My sister’s pregnant!
Girl #2: I’m sure she’s not pregnant, you’re assuming the worst.
Girl #1: Oh my god! What if she has testicle cancer?!
Adelaide
Australia
Overheard by: monkey
Scruffy guy: Shit, I’d suck dick for money. I’ve always kind of wished I was a girl so I could be a stripper… or a whore.
Gainesville, Florida
Teenage girl: You know what I wish I had?
Teenage boy, not paying attention: Uh-huh.
Teenage girl: A penis… I’d just go shoving it into people’s butts.
Teenage boy: Wait… What?
Teenage girl, whispering to herself: I wish I had a penis.
Bus
Ottawa
Canadia
Guy: Men are bastards. I’m a man.
Girl: Then what does that make you?
Guy: Huh?
Girl: You said men are bastards. So then what does that make you?
Guy, not paying attention: Wanna dance?
Norman, Oklahoma
Film studies professor: Until the 1970s, no one realized that the world was divided into men and women.
Birmingham University
England
Girl on cell: ’cause I kinda cut off my balls…
Boston Common
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: she didn’t look trannyish
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist