Literature teacher: So what the Europeans did was take the description of Jesus from the texts and made their images of him Caucasian so as to be more relatable to those they were teaching to.
Girl of questionable literacy: European Jesus was hot.
Delta Secondary School
Ladner, British Columbia
Canadia
Girl to friend: That’s the last time I catch a falling baby.
Farmington Valley, Connecticut
Girl pointing at caterpillar on floor: Oh my god! What is that?
Friend: Ew, it’s a caterpillar!
Girl: It just crawled out of me!
Friend: What?
Girl: Well she was just telling me that there are fish that crawl up your va-j‑j if you pee in the lake!
Friend: That’s only for guys. And in the Amazon!
Redding, California
Girl #1: How’s your sister?
Girl #2: She’s a whore. If she wasn’t pregnant, I’d go beat her ass.
University of New Orleans, Louisiana
Girl to another: She pulls the virgin card all the time, but she’s such a slut.
North Dakota State University
Overheard by: Chelsea
Girl: So I had a realistic dream last night.
Guy (uninterested): Uh-huh.
Girl: I had anal sex in the dream. But I’ve never had anal sex before. But it seemed realistic.
Guy (uninterested): Hmm.
Girl: So now I need to have anal sex to see if it was like in my dream.
Guy (suddenly interested): Yeah?
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
20-something girl: Do you remember that guy last night?
Friend: Oh, him? Yeah, I think he motor-boated me.
Canisius College
Buffalo, New York
Girl #1: Oh, it looks like you are registered for the jelly belly factory tour.
Girl #2: Is there anything else? I don’t really care how they grow jelly beans.
Davis, California
Overheard by: PhillyKid
Young suit #1: So how was that new restaurant you went to?
Young suit #2: It was okay. (points at girl next to him) She had a salad, she liked it. But I don’t eat salads.
Girl (pleased): It tasted like leaves.
Rosslyn, Virginia
Drunk girl: I want to be lesbionic!
Georgia Tech
Overheard by: YellowJacketGals
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
