Five-year-old boy, loudly interrupting adults: I have a wedgie!
(adults laugh)
Five-year-old boy: This wedgie train is carrying wedgies!
Green Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Archive for the ‘Guys’ Category
Mr. Sandman, Bring Me a Dream/ Send Me a Girl Who Wants to Get Reamed
Girl: So I had a realistic dream last night.
Guy (uninterested): Uh-huh.
Girl: I had anal sex in the dream. But I’ve never had anal sex before. But it seemed realistic.
Guy (uninterested): Hmm.
Girl: So now I need to have anal sex to see if it was like in my dream.
Guy (suddenly interested): Yeah?
Kansas City, Missouri
Overheard by: Sarah
Lindsay Lohan: “How Come My Community Service Never Involves Martini Glasses?”
Guy #1, gesturing: …in a martini glass.
Guy #2: That’s disgusting! Why did you do that?
Guy #1: Because he had a broken jaw.
Guy #2: I know, but why were you doing that? Community service?
Bus Stop
San Diego, California
Hard to Imagine You Two Have Time to Read
(40-something man was hitting on young clerk when his wife comes up)
Man: I honestly think man wasn’t meant to be faithful. We’re all so sexual.
Wife: Did you forget I was here?
Man: I’ll be in the car in a second.
(she leaves store)
Man, after looking back at clerk: Please. She loves getting pimped out to my friends.
Bookstore
Ocala, Florida
You’re Certainly the Most Supportive Guidance Counselor I’ve Had So Far
Teen boy ordering sub, on cell: You like the way I say “delicious?”
Carson, California
Overheard by: I’ve heard it said worse
…and I’ll Propose to You.
Dude: Just press your nipple up against the glass.
Roller Derby Game
Victoria
Canadia
Overheard by: Jay
Nobody Even Pretends to Understand U.S. Politics
Teacher: So, you have two teams. Let’s make a team name. Like…the red team and the green team, or the lion team and the tiger team. What’s your team name?
Ten-year-old boy: Obama team. (team members nod)
Teacher: Uh, okay. (to other team) So, are you guys the McCain team?
Ten-year-old girl: No! (whispered consultation with team members) Blue team.
English School
Gifu
Japan
I’ve Never Felt So Alive!
Male professor, in a very girly voice: Aaaahhh! I’m being trampled by sea horses.
UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts
Used to Be Carnival Prizes Were Things Like Stuffed Giraffes
Dude: I think I’ll take the bean bag over the butt sex.
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/07/theres-no-way-this-was-taken-out-of.html
Anyone Wanna Teabag?
Dude, after receiving dickhead hat on 50th birthday: Hey, look! My double chin looks like a pair of balls in a nutsack!
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Tiger Fan
