Little girl: So when do we get to see the unicorns?
Dad: There don’t have any. Unicorns aren’t real.
Little girl: Even African unicorns?
Dad: No, they don’t exist either. And even if there were real unicorns, they’d probably be from Europe.
Zoo
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: mel
Flamboyant, very white math teacher: Alright, we have a test on Tuuuuseday, which is also, guess what, the blood drive! So don’t donate blood before the test and please, please, do not donate blood during the test. You’ll be writing with one arm and bleeding with the other, and then you’ll get paler and paler… and keel over and die. Homie can’t fly that. Homie can’t.
Math Classroom
Hawaii
Female flight attendant (managing to bump beverage cart into a seat): Whoops, sorry! Woman driver!
Flight over Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Gaby Young
Woman, putting bag on table for security: Ugh, it’s really messy, I really need to clean it…I’m sorry.
Security: Ma’am, we’re not grading them. (finishes looking through bag) But if we were, I’d give it a c minus.
Hillary Clinton Rally
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Kendal
Three-year-old girl, emerging from woods near campsite: Mommy, there are sticks in my pee hole.
Mommy: That’s okay honey, just pull them out.
Kalalau Valley
Kauai, Hawaii
Teacher: So, for the final sentence we should get some sort of metaphor for tax cuts helping the US recession.
Student #1: Hmm… Hey, you know like, the commercial where they put gum in the hole in the dam to stop the leak?.
Student #2: Or the finger!
Teacher: Oh, you mean in the dyke!
Student #1: Yeah, so… Tax cuts would be the finger in the hole of America’s dyke?
Teacher: Maybe we shouldn’t use a metaphor.
English Essentials Class
Waimea, Hawaii
Overheard by: boehmface
Teen girl #1: I really feel like our relationship is progressing. There’s a closeness that wasn’t there before.
Teen girl #2: Awww, really?
Teen girl #1: Yeah, he added me on MySpace.
Hawaii
Overheard by: Invisible
Frat boy: Your nipples totally saved my life tonight. Thank you for that.
Star Market
Honolulu, Hawaii
Young hipster guy to another: You’re so pretty when you’re pretty!
Honolulu, Hawaii
Overheard by: Iwalei
Man on cell (angrily): Your sister keeps jerking me off… Well, not me, but your mother.
University of Hawaii, Hilo
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
