Hoochies

Hootchie #1: Yeah, we just got back from a dildo party.
Hootchie #2: And we smell like two-dollar hookers!

Des Moines, Iowa

Chick #1: Oh my god, I was so drunk last night! Do you think Lisa will get mad that I made out with her boyfriend?
Chick #2: Yes.
Chick #1: Well, it wasn’t really my fault.
Chick #2: Yes, it was. You basically went up to him, batted your eyelashes, and started making out.

Santa Cruz, California

Overheard by: Laura

Girl to friend: It’s really weird — every time I hang out with a guy, we end up having sex!

Angelo State University
San Angelo, Texas

Overheard by: adriana

Girl: That’s totally the last time I’m getting pregnant. It takes all the fun out of drinking!

RFK Stadium Metro Station
Washington, DC

Hoochie: That’s why I made my New Year’s resolution not to vomit so much when I’m drunk. Now I do it when I’m sober.

University of Central Florida
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Petty

Angry ghetto girl to friend in the middle of a fight: Joneesha, why you got that face on yo face?

Louisville, Kentucky

Hoochie: I would never get my clit pierced there.

O’Bannon’s Bar
College Station, Texas

Hoochie: I do have good morals, I’m just really drunk all the time.

Washington and Lee University
Lexington, Virginia

Hootchie at pool table: Believe me, there is nothing coming out of my vagina!

Jake’s Saloon
Toledo, Ohio

Overheard by: MoNkEyPoX

Hoochie: I strategically wore a skirt and he didn’t even try anything!

West Campus
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Molly