The Website?

Girl pointing at caterpillar on floor: Oh my god! What is that?
Friend: Ew, it’s a caterpillar!
Girl: It just crawled out of me!
Friend: What?
Girl: Well she was just telling me that there are fish that crawl up your va-j‑j if you pee in the lake!
Friend: That’s only for guys. And in the Amazon!

Redding, California

Snow White Is Always Hurting the Dwarves’ Feelings

Girl: Oh, as far as I’m concerned, they’re just the happy little worker bees that bring me my birth control.

Madison, Wisconsin

Either Listen Up or Nap Like the Rest Of Us, Dude

Guy leaving psych class: Why are we talking about bed bugs liking it up the ass?! How is that relevant?

University of Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ellie

How Criss Angel Makes a Tidy Profit at Parties

Drunk man at next table: Butterflies out the arse! And I wouldn’t have bet 10 bucks on the sonofabitch!

Sushi Bar
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Overheard by: Sushi Enjoyer

That’s the Last Time I’ll Try Absinthe.

Teen to friend: My house smells like bug spray, and there is blood all over my bed!

Pappadeauxs Restaurant
Houston, Texas

…Faking Its Own Death for the Publicity

Mother: Why did you kill that butterfly?
22-year-old daughter: It wasn’t on purpose!
Mother: And what did you do with it?
22-year-old daughter: I put it outside, on the plant…
Mother: Why?
22-year-old daughter: I thought it was just pretending…

São Paulo
Brazil

Overheard by: Teca Arantes

Hard for Girls to Compete With That

Gross girl: Well, that girl’s bathroom wasn’t that bad.
Grosser guy: Well, the flies come to the men’s because they like the pee pee floor. Mmmhmm.

Metro Red Line
Washington, DC

Because I’d Be Happy to Give You a Guided Tour

Large middle-aged man with many teddy bears strapped to his fanny pack: Have you seen the penis worm?

Smithsonian Museum of Natural History
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Hadn’t seen it

Not Unlike Your Innocence

Cute little girl staring at ceiling: Mommy, what is that butterfly doing there?
Bitchy mom: It’s dead.

http://overheardinthevalley.blogspot.com/2007/05/and-its-all-your-fault.html

Overheard by: Glowien

Always Sniffing My Delicate Petals

Science professor: So, the flower has this thing in it that looks exactly like a female wasp, and it smells like a female wasp. So, the male wasp comes up and tries to mate with it — tries to copulate with it… I had a roommate like that once.

Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York

Overheard by: Russ