Man: You spunt all our money!
Woman: Fuck you! You spunt the money — that’s who spunt the money!
Wal-Mart
Wichita, Kansas
Archive for the ‘Kansas’ Category
What Does It Take to Get Kids to Eat Vegetables Nowadays?
Man on cell: Maybe if I painted it white and drew a filter on it, she’d let me put it in her mouth.
Leavenworth, Kansas
Overheard by: Mark Smith
NewsFlash: Gender Confusion More of an Issue in Kansas Than Poor Grammar
Little girl, about sleeping baby sister: Him is sleeping? Him is sleeping?!
Mom, exasperated: No! Her is sleeping!
Kansas
So You and the Doctors Keep Saying…
Small child entering restroom: Mom, why can’t we go to the boys’ room? Because I’ve got a girl with me?
Mom: You are a girl!
Sushi Restaurant
Kansas City, Kansas
Overheard by: zombie z
…Has Been Selected As Our New State Motto
Art professor: Say goodbye to sex and violence and hello to boring allegories.
KSU
Manhattan, Kansas
Serves Her Right for Trying to Get Birth Control in Kansas
Girl: I just started a new birth control this week.
Dad: Which one were you on before?
Girl: Ummm… Levitra.
Overland Park, Kansas
Kenny Chesney: Cha-Ching!
Tween girl on side of parade route, to old man on John Deere in parade: I think your tractor’s sexy.
Stilwell, Kansas
Overheard by: sarah
So What Else Ya Got?
Spoiled nine-year-old: People only love me for my stuff.
Day Care
Wichita, Kansas
Overheard by: amused
Left Mammary in the Corner Pocket
Drunk watching a pool game: You’re a retard!
Girl playing pool: I’m a retard? I’m not the one with chalk on my nipples!
Kansas
The Gospel Rap Song That’s Sweeping the Charts
(group bows heads and man begins to pray)
Girl (just realizing prayer has started): Oh! Holy shit! We’re praying?!
Shawnee Mission Park
Shawnee, Kansas
