I Demolished That Problem Set, Yo.

Thug #1: Yo, nigga! I will beat you up! You hear me? I will demolish your ass!
Thug #2: Nah man, nah. I’ll beat your ass!
Thug #1: Fuck that, nigga, fuck that.
(pause)
Thug #1: Yo, nigga, what was our physics homework for last night?
Thug #2: Section 4. It’s on that Archimedes’ principle shit.

University of Louisville
Louisville, Kentucky

I Wonder What She’s Thinking Of

Teen girl #1: Do you know what epidermis is?
Teen girl #2: No, but I’ve heard of it before.
Teen girl #1: What do you think it is?
Teen girl #2: I think it’s got something to do with ski lifts.

Breckenridge Lane
Louisville, Kentucky

As I Told Your Father When I Proposed to Him

Mom to running, laughing child: Stop running! You can have fun when we get home.

Wal-Mart
Bowling Green, Kentucky

Overheard by: shannon

I Also See Many Things That Aren’t Actually There

Very drunk girl, exiting party: Oh my, it’s dark outside!
Sober girl: Oh, are you gonna need help back to your dorm or anything?
Very drunk girl: Oh, no. Wine gives me night vision.

University of Kentucky

Overheard by: Emmatastic

First Shoot the Person Who Gave a Kid a Megaphone

Little nine-year-old kid with megaphone: You are going to go to hell, you know! The Apocalypse is coming! Are you ready? If you are drinking, you are a bad mother!
Army man #1, standing nearby: Do we have permission to fire?
Army man #2: I wish.

The Kentucky Derby

Overheard by: Kdub-ya

Made a Great Flotation Device in the Pool

Older woman to younger one: Man, you never spend weekends with your kids! When I was raising my kid I could count the times on one hand that I used a babysitter.
Younger woman: Really?
Eavesdropping young man: Man, I was raised on a babysitter!

Louisville, Kentucky

Overheard by: I’m Adopted

Especially If I’m Saying, “Faster…Harder…God…Ohhh”

Black guy to friends: I swear, every time I start talking to a girl she gets pregnant. (pause) Fo’ real.

Bowling Green, Kentucky

Overheard by: You must have been doing more than talking

Give Him a Break. It’s Kentucky.

Man walking through automatic doors: Wow, it’s the store of the future. The doors open by themselves!

Louisville, Kentucky

Old Is the New Dead

Guy on cell: You realize it is old people’s only duty to die to get out of the way right?

International Airport
Louisville, Kentucky

This Ring Symbolizes My No-Footsie Promise

Burly male college student: I don’t want to put my bare feet somewhere where someone’s already put their bare feet.

Murray State University
Kentucky