Kids

Little girl: Mommy, I know where ’em at.
Mom: Where? Show me.
Little girl: Right here — here are those big things you stick between your legs.
Mom: No honey, I need your dad.

Mansfield, Texas

Mom, with neck tattoo reading “ape” to toddler daughter picking produce: Put that back. That is not what you think it is.

Wal-Mart
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Kathyp

Man to two-year-old daughter: I drew a face with eyes, nose and mouth. Can you tell me what's missing?
Two-year-old daughter: The boogers in the nose!

Faulconbridge
Australia

Girl to friends, emphatically: No, we have nipples so that we can milk our children!

Newton, Massachusetts

Six-year-old #1: I'm taking you to court!
Six-year-old #2: No you're not!
Six-year-old #1: I'm taking you to court!
Six-year-old #2: No you're not!
Six-year-old #1: You're in court!
Six-year-old #2: No I'm not!
Six-year-old #1: You're in court now!
Six-year-old #2: (begins to cry)

Small Town
Maine

Overheard by: Willem Rosenthal

Little girl in stall: No boys allowed in here!
Little boy in the next stall: Well, my name's Simon!

Girls' Bathroom, Clemyjontri Park
McLean, Virginia

Overheard by: Ellen

Children librarian, about girl scout troop outside: Um…they're throwing rocks at the windows.

Library
Suburbia, Illinois

Overheard by: martha

Little boy: I don’t like your rules, Mommy!
Mom: They aren’t my rules, honey, they’re America’s rules.

Austin, Texas

Mom to child: Do you know what that is, honey?
Child: No.
Mom: That's a mannequin.
Child (giggling): It doesn't have a head!
Mom: That's right. None of them do!

Iowa City, Iowa

Future career counselor: What do you want to be when you grow up?
Future asylum inmate: A crazy person that likes to be alone.
Future career counselor: Like a snarly recluse?
Future asylum inmate: Like the Unabomber.

Wausau, Wisconsin