Language barrier

Frat boy: That's all I want, a girl from, like, some poor village in southern Italy, doesn't speak a fuckin' *word* of English, and I can bring her home, and she can lie in my bed all day, and fuck me, and make me gnocci.
Plain blonde girl: Do you really like gnocci?

Yale Berkeley College Dining Hall
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Girl #1: It so sad that racism is still a problem in Canada.
Girl #2: I know what you mean, the other day my mother-in-law went to a variety store, and she, like, couldn't get served in English.

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Sad York Student

Teen: I couldn't tell if he meant “stop, exclamation point,” “don't, exclamation point,” or if he meant “don't stop, exclamation point.”
Friend: What did you do?
Teen: Look, that handjob wasn't going to finish itself, and I have a reputation, so I had no choice.
Friend: You're a goddamn trooper.

Syracuse Mall
Syracuse, New York

Overheard by: Just Exclaming!

Female heard through the wall, after giving blow job: That's all you have to say? “Thanks?”
Male, through wall: Moshi-moshi.
Female, exasperated: See, that's your problem! Half the time you don't even speak English anymore!
Male: That was “thank you” in Japanese.
Female: Oh.

Norman, Oklahoma

Girl #1: Why is it that so many midgets end up getting into acting? There must be a shortage of midget actors…
Girl #2: Shortage?

Sault Ste Marie
Ontario
Canadia

Man: There are mutes dying all over the world, and they can't say anything! So here I am…

Providence, Rhode Island

30-something guy: I can't speak English, but my prose is fuckin' smooth.

Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: hb

Teenage girl: Mom, you have to buy me this book!
Mom: No, I don't, and I shan't.
Teenage girl: You what?
Mom: I shan't.
Teenage girl: “Shan't”?
Mom: Shan't.
Teenage girl: “Shan't”?
Mom: Shan't.
Teenage girl: “Shan't”?
Mom: Yes. Shan't.
Teenage girl: That's a word?
Mom: Yes.
Teenage girl: What's it mean?
Mom: It's a contraction of “shall not”, as in “I shan't buy you that book.”
Teenage girl: Ugh, fine! Enough shan'ting already!

Borders Bookstore
Olathe, Kansas

Student #1: I think I want to go to Asia after college.
Student #2: Why?
Student #1: Because I really want to improve my Spanish, and the best way to do that is to live in the country.
Student #2: That’s a good idea.

http://overheardatcornell.blogspot.com/2006/10/long-overdue-update-part-3-last.html

Overheard by: paralyzedindisbelief

Foreign language professor on first day of class (in Russian): By the end of this year, I will have you singing like Russian whores!

University of Memphis
Memphis, Tennessee