Waiter: Does anyone have a green Firebird?
20-something lesbian: I do, why?
Waiter: It's on fire in the parking lot!
(20-something lesbian and girlfriend go outside and return ten minutes later)
Waitress: Is everything okay?
20-something lesbian, matter of factly: Yeah, my car just caught fire. Can we have another plate?
Girlfriend, unaffected: Also, she ordered tempura.
Sushi Garden
Tucson, Arizona
Lesbian with terrible tie: I am the vanguard of the revolution.
Cozy Corner Diner & Pancake House
Chicago, Illinois
Lesbo on cell: What part of ‘You’re a dirty whore I wish I’d never fucked’ do you not understand?!
Austin, Texas
Lesbian: True friends don’t believe you have STDs!
Energy-Alternative club
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Christine
(two lesbians taking items out of the shopping cart to place in their truck)
Butch lesbian (picking up a heavy box): Why do I always have to carry the heavy things just because I wear the dildo?
Wal-Mart
Dublin, Ohio
Overheard by: Octopus seeks sucker fish for good times and long walks
Butch lesbian: So…how do blind people wipe their ass?
Fem lesbian: The same way everyone else does. Oh…oh my god, that's gross, Wendy. Most people don't look at it.
Seattle, Washington
Lipstick lesbian #1: If we move into a house, we’re going to have to get some new stuff…
Lipstick lesbian #2: Wait… How did the pilgrims cut their grass?
Lipstick lesbian #1: Um, I think they had cows.
Fox and Hound
Indianapolis, Indiana
Stoner lesbian: I bet if you like, took the time to scrape all the resin off my brain…and my lungs too. Yeah, all the resin from my brain and lungs and smoke it… You could get really really high.
Cumberland, Maine
Overheard by: Jade
Lesbian: … So then she freaked out and her vagina got so tight it bruised my finger.
Queer pal: See? More proof that vaginas can’t be trusted.
Border’s
Sacramento, California
Overheard by: Protogarrett
Lesbian, about ex girlfriend: I mean, the only thing liberal about her is she's gay.
Atlanta, Georgia
