Metro guy to friend: And in the bathroom, under the sink, we have eye clippers…
Mall
San Diego, California
Archive for the ‘Malls’ Category
Without Menopause, We’d Have an Infanticide Epidemic
Grandmother, about tantrum-throwing child: I think it might be time to put her to sleep.
Mother: Yeah. Come on honey, we’ll go home and have a nap!
Grandmother, under her breath: That’s not what I meant.
Westfield Shopping Center
South Morang
Australia
At Midnight It Turns Into a Pumpkin
Thug wannabe: Damn, you see that white girl? She got a magic booty.
Mall
Buford, Georgia
Overheard by: girl with the magical booty
Dad Won’t Let Me
Girl #1: Oh, hey! I’m wearing a purple bra today!
Girl #2: Why is that a surprise? Don’t you dress yourself?
Fitting Rooms
Morwell Shopping Centre
Australia
Overheard by: Ann
Consider Your Face Sucked
Boyfriend: If we were in person right now, I would totally suck your face right now.
Girlfriend: We *are* in person.
Boyfriend: Oh, yeah.
(they walk on casually)
Memorial City Mall
Houston, Texas
The Worst Case Scenario for The Gap’s PR Department
Woman on cell: Uh, yeah, I’m standing in, uh… Old Navy. See you in a bit!
The Gap, Crossgates Mall
Albany, New York
Overheard by: unhappy gapper
But If I Did, I’d Advise You to Go with the Heart-Shaped Nipple Clamps
Dad to son, passing Valentine’s Day t‑shirt display: These are kind of nice for your mom, no?
Son: It’s for mom, what do I care?
City Center Mall
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: Nathan
Stop Referring to Juicy Juice That Way, Sadie.
Little girl, seriously: This is what I like best about elevators. But it’s not the blood of Christ.
Cherry Creek Mall
Denver, Colorado
Overheard by: Lee
A High Holy Day for Us Retailians
Girl #1: Well, today wasn’t a total loss, I did find my outfit for tomorrow.
Girl #2: True. By the way, what’s tomorrow?
Girl #1: Uh, Thursday. You mean like the date?
Girl #2: No, I mean: what’s the occasion for the outfit?
Girl #1: Oh, right! Thursday.
Dulles Town Center
Loudoun County, Virginia
Are the Stories About Martha Stewart As True As They Say?
Angry woman on cell: I want the fucking muffins!
Galleria Mall
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
