Stoner #1: Do you have telekinesis?
Stoner #2: No, but I got call-waiting and that three-way call thing.
McDonald’s
Escondido, California
Overheard by: DLo
Archive for the ‘McDonald's’ Category
Ma’am, You’ve Got Two All-Beef Patties There
Overeager mother: Sometimes when my boobies sweat, they smell like Big Macs.
McDonald’s
Madison, Indiana
The Secular Equivalent
Enthusiastic elderly Southern woman: There was BBs flying all through the winders, I was so upset I cried. I wasn’t going to church at that time, but I went to Wal-Mart.
McDonald’s
Richmond, Kentucky
Overheard by: Akilah
The Hamburglar Deserves Everything He Gets
Teenage girl to another: So you can do it! You are going to go there, have sex with him, and I am going to tickle it out of you!
McDonald’s
Nashville, Tennessee
Homer Simpson: Mmm, Sacrelicious…
Teen girl to friend: You know what I wanna do? Smoke a joint rolled in a page from the bible.
McDonald’s
Ohio
Overheard by: Dylan
She’s Worried I’ll Don Their Gay Apparel
Teenage scene girl: I’m going to American Apparel to apply for a job.
Friend: Do you think you’ll get the job?
Teenage scene girl: Yeah, but I don’t think my mom will let me.
Friend: Why?
Teenage scene girl: There are lesbians there.
McDonald’s
Manhattan, New York
But I Am Willing to Pretend To
Mom to child: We are not buying food for imaginary people.
McDonald’s, Redcliffe
Queensland
Australia
Overheard by: Ashley
You Are Now Qualified to Work at McDonald’s
Five-year-old daughter: Daddy, ask me some math questions.
Father: Okay, what is 4 x 4?
Five-year-old daughter: It’s not 9!
Father: That’s correct.
McDonald’s
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Michael Moore
Leave Jay Manuel Alone, Already.
Teen boy #1: He’s gay.
Teen boy #2: No, he isn’t.
Teen girl: He’s just orange!
Teen boy #2, laughing: “Orange” isn’t a sexual orientation.
Teen boy #1, laughing so hard he’s crying: I was just thinking that.
Teen boy #2: Hes like, an Oompa-Loompa. He’s always so mean ’cause he’s tall, they rejected him because he was different.
McDonald’s
New York City, New York
Good to Know Fast Food Joints Are Just As Classy Outside the U.S.
Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Does the McDuplo come with fries?
Mcworker: Only if you get the combo. Would you like the combo?
Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Son of a bitch! This is McDonald’s. I want fries with my fucking sandwich. [he throws up on the floor, then walks away muttering.]Mcworker to other mcworker: I wish I was dead.
McDonald’s
Belo Horizonte
Brazil
