Hungover chick: It was the first time I ever gave a blow job…on a tractor.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Shotboy
Archive for the ‘Memory lane’ Category
Since He Kept Me Up So Late Last Night
Middle-aged woman to another: I said, “Let’s go to church,” and she said, “No, I’m going to stay in bed with Jesus today.”
Outside Mexican restaurant
Hammond, Louisiana
Overheard by: Booksie in Bumfuck
The One You Held Hands with During Our Slumber Party
Fratboy wannabe #1, entering coffee shop, to friend: Dude, I was just attacked by Wes.
Fratboy wannabe #2: Who’s Wes? Do I know Wes?
Fratboy wannabe #1: Yeah, yeah. Big guy, lives in our dorm.
Fratboy wannabe #2: The one I gave a hug to last night?
Fratboy wannabe #1: I don’t know. I can’t keep up.
Golden Roast
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Creeped-out Cara
Before Then, It Was Only Divided Into People Who Make Erroneous Blanket Statements and People Who Do Not
Film studies professor: Until the 1970s, no one realized that the world was divided into men and women.
Birmingham University
England
I Carry This Pacifier to Remind Me of the Good Times
Photography professor: Yeah, I did this whole series about raves when I was in Tucson… I even dyed my hair yellow and shaved a daisy into it because, you know, I was “submersing myself in the culture.” But that was a long time ago. Now I’m a teacher. Go figure, huh?
Photography Class
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Katie
And You Thought Picking Up Girls at Funerals Was Bad
Girlfriend on packed, stopped train: I’m bored. Tell me a story.
Boyfriend: I remember the first time I saw you…you were crying…sitting outside the abortion clinic. I gave you my hankie.
Yellow Train
Washington, DC
Overheard by: entertained next to them
So I Went With French Nails and I Never Looked Back
Professor: And so then after he killed the beast he went and bathed because there was dirt under his fingernails and a civilized man never has dirty fingernails… (pauses) My first girlfriend dumped me for dirty fingernails.
York University
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Student
Made a Great Flotation Device in the Pool
Older woman to younger one: Man, you never spend weekends with your kids! When I was raising my kid I could count the times on one hand that I used a babysitter.
Younger woman: Really?
Eavesdropping young man: Man, I was raised on a babysitter!
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: I’m Adopted
Loved the Dirges.
Guy in leather to another: I remember when I was a slave…
Dore Alley
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Out taking photos
He Died a Happy Man Of Thirty-Five
Old man to teenage girl: Every time he saw an egg he had to eat it.
Melbourne
Australia
