Missouri

Leader of group of nervous teens: Hey, do you sell rolling papers here… for tobacco?
Convenience store clerk: Sorry, man. We’ve only got ones for pot.

Noland Road
Independence, Missouri

Overheard by: snickering customer behind them

Drunk girl: You don’t read?!
Guy: No. I think you should live life, not read about it in a book.
Drunk girl, slowly: I find that worse than being fucked up the ass.

Columbia, Missouri

Teen girl #1: Omigawd, I just realized. If we borrowed five dollars from like twenty people, we'd have eighty dollars!
Teen girl #2: Haha, yeah! Wait. (long pause) Yeah, like eighty dollars!

St Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: Had hope for a second, there

Coworker at happy hour: It doesn't matter. I like food, I've got great boobs and people dig me.

Barristers Pub
St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: JD

College guy #1: Hey, remember that time I fucked your mom in the ass?
College guy #2: Hey, remember that time I dressed up as my mom?

Fulton, Missouri

Overheard by: The Sweetheart

Girl #1: I ate this thing… It was, like, a candle. Or a potato.
Girl #2: No, no, it was a potato.

West Junior High School
Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: Kelsey

Muscle gal: You are such a fuckin’ pussy.
Muscle guy: Fuck that, I could take a seven-foot black man.
Muscle gal: Awww, I know.

West County YMCA
St. Louis, Missouri

Girl: Whoa…There's a band called “Asia”? Mom, is this what I was named after?
Mother: No, honey.

Branson, Missouri

Mom: No, that’s not an appropriate video, either.
14-year-old son: What about this one? It’s Christian. It only has violence in it!

Blockbuster
Liberty, Missouri

Overheard by: blockbuster lurker

Ghetto lady on cell: Where you at? (pause) Yeah, you better be at work and not out fucking around on me. (pause) You know damn well what the fuck I am talking about, motherfucker! (pause) Bitch, I am making tacos so I gotta get some fucking sour cream. (pause) I said I am making fucking tacos. (pause) Alright, I love you too.

Sun Fresh
Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: WesAli