Gay son: I need a sugar daddy.
Mother: You and me both.
Gay son: But I have a booty.
Mother, after long pause, and looking out the window: I have weeds where I once had grass…
Murrieta, California
Overheard by: I hope I don’t become my mother
Archive for the ‘Money’ Category
First Of All, There’s Hardly Any Literacism There.
Elderly man to elderly gaggle: Why’s everyone wasting their time trying to raise money for Africa? Africa’s a wretched country.
Max’s German Restaurant
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ladle
K‑Fed: Explained.
Scruffy guy: Shit, I’d suck dick for money. I’ve always kind of wished I was a girl so I could be a stripper… or a whore.
Gainesville, Florida
Anally
Sociology professor: This course is cheap, but I’m expensive, so please make use of me.
Boston University, Massachusetts
For the Last Time, It Was a Freak Welding Accident!
Guy on cell: Yeah, I get scared when you turn out the lights. (pause) That’s not gay. (pause) It’s not gay when “turning out the lights” means putting your hands over my eyes while we’re test-driving a car that’s worth more than your sister’s gold plated vahjay!
George Mason University
Virginia
Overheard by: Your sister won
And Once Money’s Been Spunt, No One Else Will Touch It
Man: You spunt all our money!
Woman: Fuck you! You spunt the money — that’s who spunt the money!
Wal-Mart
Wichita, Kansas
I Mean, Just Look at Those Raggedy-Ass Sneakers
Black kindergartener to white teacher: You know, before you were my teacher, I didn’t know white people could be poor.
Atlanta, Georgia
I Don’t Think I Wanna Play Dungeons and Dragons with You Anymore
Serious biker: Virgins are great! You can use them as currency.
Blowfish Sushi
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: tangotravellers
Are You in the Dark About Gay Sexual Slang, Dear Readers?
Gay husband to his husband: It’s these Mexican circumstances. Everyone knows when you pass go, you collect $200.
Fairfax, Virginia
And He Was All, “But I’m Just the Babysitter!”
Lady to friend: So I told him… ten dollars for a hand job!
Friend: Good for you! What an asshole!
Ashland & North Ave
Chicago, Illinois
