Gay son: I need a sugar daddy.
Mother: You and me both.
Gay son: But I have a booty.
Mother, after long pause, and looking out the window: I have weeds where I once had grass…
Murrieta, California
Overheard by: I hope I don’t become my mother
Gay son: I need a sugar daddy.
Mother: You and me both.
Gay son: But I have a booty.
Mother, after long pause, and looking out the window: I have weeds where I once had grass…
Murrieta, California
Overheard by: I hope I don’t become my mother
Elderly man to elderly gaggle: Why’s everyone wasting their time trying to raise money for Africa? Africa’s a wretched country.
Max’s German Restaurant
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ladle
Scruffy guy: Shit, I’d suck dick for money. I’ve always kind of wished I was a girl so I could be a stripper… or a whore.
Gainesville, Florida
Sociology professor: This course is cheap, but I’m expensive, so please make use of me.
Boston University, Massachusetts
Guy on cell: Yeah, I get scared when you turn out the lights. (pause) That’s not gay. (pause) It’s not gay when “turning out the lights” means putting your hands over my eyes while we’re test-driving a car that’s worth more than your sister’s gold plated vahjay!
George Mason University
Virginia
Overheard by: Your sister won
Man: You spunt all our money!
Woman: Fuck you! You spunt the money — that’s who spunt the money!
Wal-Mart
Wichita, Kansas
Black kindergartener to white teacher: You know, before you were my teacher, I didn’t know white people could be poor.
Atlanta, Georgia
Serious biker: Virgins are great! You can use them as currency.
Blowfish Sushi
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: tangotravellers
Gay husband to his husband: It’s these Mexican circumstances. Everyone knows when you pass go, you collect $200.
Fairfax, Virginia
Lady to friend: So I told him… ten dollars for a hand job!
Friend: Good for you! What an asshole!
Ashland & North Ave
Chicago, Illinois
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist