Girl, pointing: That kid — he’s my new friend.
Friend: What? That tiny kid?
Girl: Yeah. You said I need a new friend. That kid is my new friend.
Friend: Whatever.
Girl: I think his name is Kyle.
Cosmo Park
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Girl, pointing: That kid — he’s my new friend.
Friend: What? That tiny kid?
Girl: Yeah. You said I need a new friend. That kid is my new friend.
Friend: Whatever.
Girl: I think his name is Kyle.
Cosmo Park
Columbia, Missouri
Overheard by: Kelsey
Chick #1: Oh my god, Latonya! You should’ve written down ‘Bubbles’!
Chick #2: Bubbles?
Latonya: Yeah, that’s my gangster name. I know it’s not tough, but I still like it!
All Saints High School
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: male student reluctantly forced into a group
Chick in hoodie: I think they prefer to be called “little people.”
Preppy guy: When you're hiring them for a sex act I'm pretty sure it's okay to call them midgets.
Landmark Diner
Port Washington, New York
Overheard by: Hunter (aka
Hipster girl to friend: I heard the most offensive thing in Crate & Barrel!
San Francisco, California
Mini-skirt girl: Her name is Pearl, so she's either an 80-year-old white lady from Connecticut…
Suit: Or an 18-year-old, French-speaking lieutenant in an Asian motorcycle gang.
Mini-skirt girl: Yours is weirdly specific.
Bridgeport, Connecticut
Overheard by: Agreed
Grocery store bagger (handing stuffed cat to little girl): So, what are you going to name your new kitty?
Little girl: Baby Jesus!
California
Friend #1: We should all say something about ourselves. One thing good and one thing bad.
Friend #2: What about you?
Friend #1: Well, I have a good sense of humor. And I guess something bad would be that the other day, I slept with some person because I didn't have a place to stay, but in the morning, I'd forgotten his name…so when he went out his room I had to search through it to find some kind of identity card of his so I could pretend I knew it all along. His name was Richard.
Pub
London Bridge
England
Fratboy wannabe #1, entering coffee shop, to friend: Dude, I was just attacked by Wes.
Fratboy wannabe #2: Who's Wes? Do I know Wes?
Fratboy wannabe #1: Yeah, yeah. Big guy, lives in our dorm.
Fratboy wannabe #2: The one I gave a hug to last night?
Fratboy wannabe #1: I don't know. I can't keep up.
Golden Roast
Knoxville, Tennessee
Overheard by: Creeped-out Cara
Excited hipster guy on cell: Dude, you just missed Wyclef Jean! He was fucking awesome! He dry-humped me and everything!
Voodoo Music Fest
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Eliza
