Girl: She looked like a mix between a Christmas ham and a hooker.
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: NS
Archive for the ‘New Jersey’ Category
And What Are We? Posers!
Mom: That’s Hollister. Remember what I told you about Hollister?
Toddler girl: Hollister.
Mom: Hollister is for po-sers.
Toddler girl: Posers.
Mom: Po-sers.
Toddler girl, giggling excitedly: Posers!
Garden State Plaza
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Sar
Try Pissing Up a Rope, Then
Four-year-old boy: But Mommy, I don’t need gravity! I just had to pee!
New Jersey
Like a Sleep Number Sex Toy?
Guy, about his job: Right now, we are working on a line where you can make a customized branded dildo to fit your needs.
Woman who just told everyone she is pregnant: That’s fantastic!
City Vino Restaurant
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: entertained witness
Finally Got That Aerosmith Roadie Gig?
Roomie #1: I wonder what ever happened to James*. I mean, we haven’t seen him since fifth grade. I hope he’s not in a mental home or something — him and his weird mom. Maybe he’s finally doing what he’s always wanted to do: work with dinosaurs.
Roomie #2: Yeah, or living with them.
Roomie #1: That is sooo true.
Montclair State University
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: i love dinosaurs
Wish I Was a Sociopath Like My Dad
Drunk guy to girlfriend: I care about you a lot. It sucks.
Park Tavern
Jersey City, New Jersey
Gambling, on the Other Hand…
Conductor: Next and final stop: Atlantic City, folks!
(several passengers give confused and bewildered looks)
Conductor: Yeah, I changed my mind. I don’t like Trenton.
Trenton, New Jersey
Overheard by: passenger
Oh, What’s the Big Deal About Cunnilingus??
Guy jogging around track with friends: Well, if it’s still alive we can’t eat it, can we?
Robbinsville High School
New Jersey
Crappy Cramps, Cheetos Vamps
Women #1: Oh, I know why I feel crappy – cramps.
Woman #2: Ew! Me too. Very PMS‑y. Craving Cheetos.
Woman #1: That’s serious.
Rochelle Park, New Jersey
Not the Worst Graduation Photo I’ve Ever Seen…
Fat guy: You wanna see a hot picture?
Girlfriend: Yeah, I wanna see a hot picture.
Fat guy: It’s me with no shirt on… And I was rubbin’ m’nipples.
Columbia High School
Maplewood, New Jersey
