Girl to friends, emphatically: No, we have nipples so that we can milk our children!

Newton, Massachusetts

Dude: Just press your nipple up against the glass.

Roller Derby Game

Overheard by: Jay

Married man at party: They went after my nipples!


Overheard by: Salazar

Chick: … So then I started exfoliating my nipples every morning…


Overheard by: gin

20-something girl to table of people: And I was like, “Whoa, mom–your nipples are like top hats!”

Kasey's Tavern
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Sara

Fat guy: You wanna see a hot picture?
Girlfriend: Yeah, I wanna see a hot picture.
Fat guy: It’s me with no shirt on… And I was rubbin’ m’nipples.

Columbia High School
Maplewood, New Jersey

Dining hall worker: When I got my nipples pierced I had an orgasm when the guy was doing the left one.
Student: Really? How did that happen?
Dining hall worker: When he clamped it I just told him to keep twisting that shit, and 20 minutes later I had an orgasm. It was a little Chinese man who did it…I bet his little uncircumcised dick was all bonered out and shit.

Overheard by: overheardatyale

(two guys peeing next to each other at the urinals)
Pretty boy #1: I think I have sensitive wrists.
Pretty boy #2: You have sensitive nipples!

Bowling Alley Bathroom
Dayton, Ohio

Overheard by: Liz

Coworker at happy hour: It doesn't matter. I like food, I've got great boobs and people dig me.

Barristers Pub
St. Louis, Missouri

Overheard by: JD

Professor: Say that you were to walk into class, and I was wearing…a red thong.
(students laugh) I'm not done. I also have sequins on my nipples–and my hair is in a red Mohawk. Half of you would turn around and walk out. The other half would think, “Eh, I can always drop the class.”

Santa Rosa Junior College
Santa Rosa, California