Professor: I don’t care what you say, there’s nothing worse than eating a baby.
Community college
North Carolina
Overheard by: First row fanboy
Professor: I don’t care what you say, there’s nothing worse than eating a baby.
Community college
North Carolina
Overheard by: First row fanboy
Incoming freshman, about required pre-entry reading: We should not have to be exposed to new ideas we might not agree with.
University campus
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: yeah, now my brain hurts
Chick: Okay, here’s your hundred thousand dollars, and there’s the mall. And I’ll just be sitting here sprouting a penis.
Carrboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Li’l Bit
Lady: Damn! This dress done makes me look like I gave up on life!
Dressing room
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: Ursulav
Confused guy on cell: What I don’t get is, what part of the country are there people like this? I mean, I draw the line at spitting in someone’s asshole!
Raleigh, North Carolina
Overheard by: whylime
Girl: I wonder why there are so many Japanese restaurants around here?
Guy: Probably because there are a lot of Mexican people living in this town.
Very Little Town
North Carolina
Black lady on cell: I said, ‘Yeah, I’m black, but dat don’ mean I be makin’ counterfeit money!’
Food Lion
Sanford, North Carolina
Overheard by: Elizabeth
Student #1: The professor wanted us to list our ten favorite books.
Student #2: So?
Student #1: All I could think of was “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.”
East Carolina University
Greenville, North Carolina
Hot drunk chick: That’s why I can’t sleep at night — because people in Knoxville wanna fuck dogs!
Barley’s Taproom and Pizzeria
North Carolina
Overheard by: Drunk Patron
PA: Paging arriving passenger Juan Sanchez from Mexico City. Please return to gate B4 to retrieve your piñata.
Airport
Charlotte, North Carolina
