North Carolina

Five-year boy in front of a door: (frantically) Which one? I have to go!
Exasperated mother: The men’s room.
Little boy: Which one?!
Mother: That one (points) and that’s why you need to learn to read.

Barnes & Noble
Cary, North Carolina

Professor: I urge you to visit the TA as well, because we have complementary viewpoints. For example, he’s with it… and I’m not.

UNC-Chapel Hill
North Carolina

Overheard by: Li’l Bit

College chick: I, like, physically cannot get good grades… I think the problem is in my brain.

University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill
Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Overheard by: KAT

Pretty girl to boyfriend: I don't know if I have too many toothpicks, or not enough.
Boyfriend: So this is where the crazy starts?

Grocery Store
Havelock, North Carolina

Hipster girl #1: Those are nice (points at earrings), where did you get them?
Hipster girl #2: Oh, I stole these. I only steal earrings, for some reason. So did your parents ever get those goats for their farm?
Hipster girl #1: Not yet, but my mom said they're going to start growing pot.
Hipster girl #2: That's cool.

Cafe
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: Vincent Ignatius

Guy on cell: I don't think we'll be in a bar, considering what we'll be wearing and that we'll be covered in feathers.

Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Student to other: Do you have your uterus?

Duke Medicine
Durham, North Carolina

Queer #1: He punched him in the face right in the middle of Banana Republic.
Queer #2: That is so damn rude.

University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill
Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Redneck girl: So do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes, that's part of our religion.
Redneck girl: No, I mean you. Do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes! I do, my people do, it's our religion!
Redneck girl: So when you go to church, there's a cow there?
Hindu boy: No, we don't go to church.
Redneck girl: Have you ever gone cow-tipping?
Hindu boy: What's that?
Redneck girl: It's when you run up to a cow in the middle of the night and push it over and it goes “mooooooooo!” I tried to tip a horse once, too, but it just looked at me.

High School
North Carolina

Girl to friends: I thought I was playing hard to get, but it turns out I was playing “I hate you”.

Elon University
Elon, North Carolina