Dining hall worker: When I got my nipples pierced I had an orgasm when the guy was doing the left one.
Student: Really? How did that happen?
Dining hall worker: When he clamped it I just told him to keep twisting that shit, and 20 minutes later I had an orgasm. It was a little Chinese man who did it…I bet his little uncircumcised dick was all bonered out and shit.
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Overheard by: overheardatyale
Girl #1: That’s bad luck!
Girl #2: What’s bad luck?
Girl #1: Putting purses on your floor. You might as well put your menstrual blood on your face!
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Yale polo player #1: What are all those people doing on old campus?
Yale polo player #2: Probably “Soccer for Darfur” or something. I hate fake activism like that.
Yale polo player #3: You mean “S’mores for Darfur,” right?
Yale polo player #1: I keep hearing that word, “Darfur.” What does it even mean?
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Overheard by: Overheard at Yale
Guy: So she googled me, and found the thing from the dance-off with my balls hanging out! It’s the first thing that comes up!
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Overheard by: Overheard at Yale
Chick: … And he was so dorky that he, like, mistook my ass for my vagina and he started fingering it, and I was like, ‘Oh, he’s a pro,’ but then I realized and was like, ‘… Oh…’
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Overheard by: overheardatyale
Guy (joyous): I want to stay in college forever!
Girl (ecstatic): I want to put in a new tampon!
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Yale girl: Last night when I was getting ready to go to bed I was putting pajamas on and there was half a quesadilla in my bra.
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Guy #1: The directions are on a green piece of paper.(fumbles around in car)
Guy #2: What the hell is this?
Guy #1: Oh shit. Long story. It’s a Portugese kid’s back hair.
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Overheard by: overheardatyale
Black professor to black student: So I hold you to a different standard than the white students. (to white student) Except for you. Because you’re from Michigan.
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Overheard by: Overheard at Yale
Diminutive Asian girl: Well, I think that…
English professor: Isn’t “Balls!” such a great expression? It’s just so… you know… I give you all permission to interject and interrupt this class by shouting “Balls!” at any time for the rest of the year. Sorry, go ahead with your comment.
Diminutive Asian girl: Well, I think that…
English professor: Balls!
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Overheard by: overheardatyale
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
